Finally Some Answers

Well, it took my specialist yet again to actually get to the bottom of things and diagnose my problem.  He’s never seen it either, but agreed that it only made sense that I had a blood vessel surface, burst, and get infected, probably due to pressure from coughing, on top of a weak system.  He’s going to call personally to a few surgeons to see if they’d be willing to at least consult with me and see if they can fix the area.  Unfortunately it’ll be a very painful and difficult recovery from the surgery, but at least they’ll be able to cauterize any blood vessels in that area, which will take a huge load off of my shoulders.  I’ve basically been afraid to do anything for fear of causing it, or another vessel, to suddenly rupture, and go through another month of agony.  It’s a relief that he agreed with the diagnosis I had come up with and that he wants this to be handled immediately, instead of dragging it out again.  I have to say every single time I see him I am in even more awe of his abilities and his brain.  He is truly the most brilliant man I’ve ever met.  I will always be thankful for my former boss asking his old colleague for the favor of doing a consult of one of his employees.

There is a pain scale from 0-10 that I always have to evaluate at every appointment for my different trigger areas, and even on my bad days I rate those at about a 7, because I’m still making it through the day.  While my wound was bad and I was concerned about sepsis (thank goodness for antibiotics), I rated my pain at a 9 for the very first time.  When I told my specialist that,  I think that’s when he realized just how serious and scary it had been for me.  He said that he doesn’t want me living in fear that any moment anything I can do could put me back at that stage.  At a 9 it’s hard to push to keep trying to get through the day and you seriously wonder if it’s worth it.  Like maybe your body got a memo that your brain and soul didn’t yet.  So I’m thankful that I have a doctor that knows me well enough to know my limits and my needs, and who is taking this seriously.  It was a long path to get there, but I’m thankful he was consulted on this.

While I’ve been going through all of this I’ve had an awesome support system and want to thank all of you that have been there for me, have left me FB or email messages, and have given me the encouragement to keep making my way through this journey.  I appreciate every single attempt to contact me, especially since I tend to get even more introverted when I’m dealing with difficult things.  Please know that I am working on not being quite so introverted and that I thank you for being patient, especially when my health takes a turn.  You all mean so very much to me and are true blessings in my life, whether in “real life”, social media, or my “second life”.

I’m hoping to hear Monday about the surgeon, so please cross your fingers for me that he is able to convince his top pick to do a consult.  After all of that I can focus on my big marketing idea that I can’t wait to share, but seemed stupid to share when I didn’t know when I’d ever get the chance to actually do it.  So I’ll tell you all about that soon!  In the meantime, I hope you all have a wonderful weekend full of happiness and health, and maybe a little extra pampering. 🙂