It’s been a few months since I’ve posted and I actually have some really good reasons. First, I had a really difficult recovery from my surgery. I swear that I started to think I would never recover and the doctor didn’t do the greatest job with the reconstruction, so I was kind of in a funk mentally for a bit. Second, we’ve been doing renovations to our house and every time I got a bit done, then I’d be sick or flared for a few days, and kept repeating the cycle for the past few months. It bites to try and take care of things when you have a chronic illness trying to win the contest over your body. *grin* Third, is the best reason of all and it includes a TON of paperwork and just plain work…
We’re adopting!! It is a LOT harder than we expected and a lot more intrusive of a process, but we are so excited. We had thought and prayed on it for a few years actually. As I came out of the anesthesia from my surgery we agreed that without a doubt we had been called to adopt a teenage girl. I can’t really explain it any better than that. Part of the reason for the age is due to my health issues. I simply cannot handle taking care of the physical needs of an infant or energetic young child, sadly. In a way, it’s for the best though, because teens up for adoption are so rarely adopted and have such heart breaking statistics for their adult lives when they’re not adopted.
At this time the house is almost completely ready and we start our adoption classes this Thursday night. Her room is completely ready and is so beautiful. It’s neutral, but luxurious and has just a few feminine touches. She can change it up however she wants, of course, but we wanted to have it ready to move in and show the Social Worker/Inspector that we are seriously committed to this commitment. I’ll share some pics of our journey soon, I promise. All sorts of things went wrong every which way we turned. *laugh* We learned a whole lot though, especially me! We also learned the hard way that my balance issues are dramatically increased when I am off of the ground, and I’ve had some nasty injuries from working on the ladder. It’s all been worth it though, no matter what happens. In 10 weeks, if everything goes right, we will literally be licensed to be parents. What a bizarre concept! 50 pages of paperwork, a scrapbook, 30 hours of parenting classes, lots of renovations, and a whole lot of tears, and we will finally get more information about our match(es). That is, if the house passes inspection, so if you’re so inclined, please say a little prayer for us that our house passes inspection the first time, so we don’t have to wait even longer.
Since teen adoptions are so needed, in theory the adoption itself should go faster and easier than younger ones do, and we get a little more ability to pick who we feel is a better fit for our family, according to the mini bio we get. We have one that we are really hoping for (I honestly can’t imagine any other girl but her when I daydream about our upcoming family adventures) and our social worker said that there’s a really good chance that as long as no one else has all ready selected her, we should get matched, which makes my breath catch and my heart thump each time I replay the conversation. Of course, she has to review our stuff and decide she’d like to meet us, too, so I’ll try to dial back my crazy long enough. *grin*
The agency required us to make a scrapbook about our lives, interests, and home, to help all prospective matches get to know us a bit and have a more informed decision if they would like to meet us. I went into that part of the process totally lost and believing this would be torture. Thankfully one of my dearest friends was a lifesaver with tons of information and answers for me, and it turns out that I am a total nut for scrapbooking. *laugh* I absolutely had a blast making this timeline and visual biography of us, and it helped me feel so connected to this girl. I actually love a child that I haven’t even met yet. That’s mind blowing, but the honest truth. I just hope our teenager will be interested and learn to love us too.
We decided to wait until we were starting our classes before announcing, although I wanted to as soon as we had decided, but thankfully Larry is more level-headed than me. We will also mail out some physical copies of the announcement, but sadly the printing company cut the beginning of a few words on the left side. At least people can extrapolate the message still and we get to finally share our joy with everyone. We can’t share any information about our prospective daughter yet, since we don’t really know for sure who we will be matched with, but I really want to share about this difficult journey. I had a lot of time on my hands during my recovery, so I was able to get far ahead of our class peers and do all of the paperwork and scrapbooking that is required, that they will do during the 10 weeks, but I was also able to do a lot of research. Sadly there’s limited information about adopting and preparing for teenagers or older children, and I hope that maybe I can put a little bit of information out there and help someone else. It’s easy to get discouraged with such a difficult process that really puts a strain on your relationship and your own mental health, in my opinion, so if I can offer a little education and reassurance, I can pay forward a bit of God’s blessing.
In closing of this big post I want to thank those of you that have helped us on our journey and have been such a big support system. We thank you for helping us to keep this private until the time was right, for the encouragement, for your happiness, and for your embracing our journey with enthusiasm. Our daughter will be so very blessed to have you as part of her family and we are so very thankful for that. Truly, you have all been instrumental in getting us to this point and helping us get to the courthouse soon, hopefully, and we can never thank you enough.
“He gives the childless woman a family, making her a happy mother. Praise the Lord!” – Psalms 113:9 (NLT Version)