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Monthly Archives: March 2021

Tips for Covid on my Third Round

Of course this is just a silly blog entry, so talk to your doctor if you suspect you have Covid, you have Covid and need assistance, and all that good, legal stuff. I don’t assume responsibility or any of that stuff. By reading I hope you might learn something interesting, smile several times, and have a good day.

With that out of the way, now that I’m able to sit up in bed this morning and am actually awake during “normal” hours, I thought blogging is the number one course of action, of course. 😉 First up, don’t expect it to be easier or the same as previous cases of Covid you survived. I’ll wait here while you facepalm yourself. You survived the big and bad before, so of course you’re stronger this time and it’s just going to knock you a few pegs. Nope. You ~might~ get lucky enough to have a light case if you get Covid more than once, but plan on feeling like you’re knocking at Death’s door.

Second, unless your shortness of breath is height of the Pandemic kind of bad, expect to be pretty invisible at the hospital. Pack a go bag. Include a drink, extra layer of clothing in case you’re cold, phone charger, and throat drops. Other than procedures, my nurse checked on me absolutely no times. And they put my bag on the other side of the bed with the rail up, I didn’t have my cane and was too weak to walk around, and they hid the pillow and bedding. I had the loosely fitted sheet to the bed and the gown they gave me for my X-ray, plus those extra clothes that I still had before they moved my stuff. Staff did tag team care on me with long intervals of nothing but time to myself. It hurt to breathe, but the X-ray was good, so don’t expect a breathing treatment, pain relief, or such until near discharge. Just keep your mask on and behave. Bonus points if you’re not disabled and can get around the bed to get your things.

If you’re a Spoonie, prepare for the dreaded Fibro eye roll when giving your list. Yeah, still in this day of age and with so many “long haulers”, which got added to my diagnosis list too. Feel like your skin is being filleted off because it hurts when you cough? Med seeker. Your usual pain meds aren’t touching this feeling like your chest has been torn apart? Aren’t you used to chronic pain?

They literally want to handle your financial info on the phone, with masks on, on other sides of the glass door, and expect things to go smoothly. If the Sam’s Club door greeter can’t understand me with a mask on, I don’t think this little concept is going to be beneficial to either party. And if I’m told “I don’t understand you” one more time, you can bet your bottom dollar I’ll find a way to the door, open it, and lick you. Forget droplet protocol. Do you have “she just full on licked me like a psycho with a billion Covid positive germs” protocol? *grin*

Sure, you’re miserable, but this is a special time to spend by yourself contemplating how miserable you are. No masked up company. Even if your SO was positive and is being treated, you get this time to to yourself to reflect on that delightful feeling of your skin peeling off, your lungs being squeezed in a vise, and seriously debating what could they really do if you pull back the drape to announce to the nursing station that you’re checking yourself out because after five hours you may die of thirst with all of this coughing.

And if you’re a Spoonie, do NOT stop your regular treatment protocol without also talking to your doctor and pharmacist, and obtaining precise instructions. Thank goodness my SO’s best friend is a pharmacist! My pharmacy left it clear as mud, there are few trustworthy sites to cross reference once you get deep into treatments like we need, and that mixed up time of treatment was pretty close to worse than when I went to the hospital than before. Honestly. I’m truly hard pressed to decide which was worse. I still feel like I’ve been getting mule-kicked in my lower back, but it’s bearable now.

You may have escaped without losing taste or smell other times, but don’t brag. It’ll come back and bite you. Then you’re left with them prescribing something to help you eat because all food tastes horrific and it just doesn’t sink through your mind that you need the nourishment even if cat food might be less offensive smelling to you. I felt like I couldn’t brush my teeth and tongue enough, even though it triggered coughing spells. Thankfully you may get some flavors back and it might not take a really long time (cue the “Hallelujah”).

If you’re a Spoonie with Costo, check remaining self esteem and self consciousness at the door for the remainder of the breathing issues. I seriously discovered the most relief when I had a coughing jag was for him to hold me around my ribs while I coughed, wheezed, and hacked away. If you can handle it, get one or two shots of inhaler. That went out the window for me unfortunately. We found that a cough drop, coughing, being held, and try to softly sing was the best combo for mine. Seriously. Jacked up, I know, but nursery rhymes, favorite songs, whatever. I suspect some was mentally soothing and gave me something to focus on beyond the fear of not breathing. I think there is some merit to the belief that it helps get some rhythmic, light breathing working through lungs. Any which way, “She’ll be coming around the mountain”, “Ring of Fire”, and “Upon a Dream” had the best cycles for getting me through episodes. Vaporizer, humidifier, wet cloth, crawling instead of walking, PrimaMist, Albuterol, cold meds, bandaging down my chest and ribs…try the combo if you find yourself in need. Don’t know how we landed on it, but game changer.

You will become “The Princess and the Pea”. Your comfy haven of snuggles will become a torture device. You will suddenly develop rocks in your hips and bum. It hurts no matter what way you lay, especially after two weeks of laying up at an angle with most weight in weird spots. Sitting on a doubled over blanket may help for awhile. Don’t sleep on it unless you want it to also need dried because you cried on it in your sleep from the pain in your hips. I lost weight a rapid and horrible way, but smuggled in small boulders for a tush instead, and the first outing to the living room to sit on a couch while being around others (“A Whole New World” totally played in my mind as I made my way down the hall” helped, but a memory cushion topper arrives today in hopes that it helps with these last few weeks.

Follow the white rabbit. Drink the bottle of potion. Let the pretty lights overtake you. You deserve something interesting from this hell hole of illness, so if you’re having feverish hallucinations, enjoy them. *laugh* I couldn’t tell you much about most of mine, but lots of bright lights, a super mellow vibe, and the least amount of worries I’ve ever experienced made those difficult days more bearable. It might say a lot about me to my psychiatrist that I’d recommend the hallucinations, but I don’t care, I’ll sign a petition that it should be a legitimate part of Covid care. *grin*

Try to have a lot to look forward to as you start swimming up out of the swamp of Covid symptoms. It’s still scary and you worry every time you try to slowly walk to the restroom by yourself or look at the scar where the nurse blew your vein open during your hospital (stay? Time killer? Irritation to them? Pick what works for you lol). I have a super protective ESA cat, ceremony invites to be addressed and mailed out, my gaming blog (in my second pixelated month!), binge watched most of the shows I’ve been curious about, and had a list of details for the ceremony to make decisions about. It’s amazing how little truly matters when you’re planning an event and then get struck by Covid. The decorative stuff that had been in my head all went away and it came down to how to make what’s really important happen, and then let’s celebrate. Formal engagement pictures, a lit arbor, setting the scene a certain way…meh. What matters is that those who care are there to witness us “tie the knot”, we will have fun taking pictures and enjoying relationships, and we will celebrate life and love.

Finally, cheer! Punch the air! Watch Mamma Mia and put fake nails on so you feel super feminine. (Or whatever the equivalent is – listen to power tools and play Top Gear – I’m not going to pigeon hole or judge *grin* Just float your boat!) You have some weird “one up” items when talking to others who have been sick, you discovered who and what really matters to you, you learned that true love can survive unwashed hair and unshaved legs along with the weirdest noises your body can produce, and hopefully you’ve learned to be nicer to yourself. Maybe you learned that a ten year old being excited that you’re well enough to come sit on the couch and snuggle is one of the best feelings you’ve ever felt. Maybe you learned that your love language, especially when life is boiled down to being sick, is that you can order and provide the flavors of jello that the teenager wants, and it fulfills part of that “not your mom, but I will always try to help” feeling you have. And maybe you wake one while your SO is asleep, notice how their eyelashes rest so gently on their cheeks, how peaceful they look, and are thankful that the shit show you just survived isn’t colored by how messy the room is, how you haven’t vacuumed, or aren’t Superwoman. (Of course you now really want to take care of that disaster that’s built up, but be nice and take your time…) People love you because you make their life special. The whole illness sucks, but I hope you remember that important lesson. You may feel like you French-kissed a light socket, but they love how quirky and unpredictable you are. They love that you care about others more than yourself or that you want them in your lifeboat. Whatever. Covid sucks, but you don’t always get reminders that you’re worth being loved.

Sharing Two of My Favorite Things

After yesterday’s post I thought I’d share two of my Tinkerbell “Happy Thoughts” that would definitely make me fly. 😊 For our Handfasting Ceremony it meant a lot to me to get our “cord” just right. We recently got the completed Handfasting cord (we chose out of ribbons with Celtic charms instead of actual cording) all the way from an awesome crafter in the UK. I swear that you can almost feel the joy and intention vibrating from it. 😁 It’s our three favorite colors from our ancestral tartans, although one is also from the old tartan from the clan for the spot of land I have in Scotland (the modern just doesn’t suit me lol). So I’m including a picture of the cord. *happy dance* We even found a tartan scarf (it was the affordable version of tartan *grin*) for Donegal, where his ancestors first conquered and settled the area, and later my ancestors moved there. *happy sigh*

We will literally “tie the knot” with this beauty!
Donegal!

It’s hard to believe I’m actually going to get to do a Handfasting and that it’s just a few months away! Admittedly I stopped my Irish Gaeilge lessons recently, but with a few months under my belt, I think I’ll manage to successfully slaughter speaking part of my vows in it. *grin*

Credit for Handfasting cord: https://www.etsy.com/shop/TheToadstoolgarden?ref=simple-shop-header-name&listing_id=738209549

Credit for Donegal Scarf: https://www.etsy.com/listing/663962688/usa-kilts-irish-county-donegal-tartan?ref=user_curated_list-12&frs=1

Round 3

Covid came to visit again and unlike round two, it really kicked my hiney. I suspect it’s because of a stronger exposure, since it made its way through our little family, but with so much unknown about the ability to contract this multiple times, who knows.

Although my KS doctors are still working with the vaccine roll out, MO isn’t, so when I have an online appointment with my fibro doctor on the 1st I’m hoping his staff can get me scheduled for the shot up here at St. Luke’s. It seems like I’m recovering, which is when my doctors most worry that I’m most likely to have a sudden, severe decline that requires hospitalization. Being the practical person that I am, I appreciate the honesty. Being scared that with my problems if I get hospitalized for anything I’m not coming back out…well, I kind of like the voice in my mind that fibs and says we’re getting through this just fine. Lol

The great part is during this I am literally in a fight with KS Medicare about them still believing I’m disabled and wanting an evaluation done in person in Topeka in a couple of weeks. I’ve talked to national, KS, and an assistant to the case worker for my KS DDS. All said it’d be cancelled and to wait for MO to contact me, since they’ll probably want to do their own investigation beyond the huge “paperwork reduction act” packet I filled out months back. On the 18th, two solid weeks later, I received a second notice of a new evaluation scheduled at the same place in Topeka. 🤦🏻‍♀️ One, if the paperwork has said “no expectation for significant improvement and will never work again” for over a decade, I think the government is wasting money on paying some doctor to evaluate me, then a committee to review, etc. Not to mention the cost behind all this paperwork! Two, KS hasn’t been paying for my disability for 6 months. A little late to be deciding if you’ll continue to pay me, IMO. Lol Politicians get gold toilet seats and the government pays people to harass permanently disabled people. I don’t usually get very political, but dude, why do we have room in the budget for this?! And a bit ironic to me that MO hasn’t had a problem other than when they would move my monthly payment to a different bank than I used for years. As the youngest would say…”Kind of sus to me.” Lol

So between Covid, planning the Handfasting (under 70 days!), court, and settling into our family rhythm, I know I’ve been quiet and wanted to post a bit of a heads up. However, I’ll end with a few cooler things though than the blah. 😁 One, the eldest got Captain of the Rugby Team! Sadly he only got to play once before we all crashed with the bug, but in a few weeks, we’re back to Saturday matches of young men beating the holy tarnation out of each other. 😂 Two, which was worrisome at the time but funny now, my fever got warm enough while sick that my Shamrock and glitter decorated fake nails began dropping off because I warmed the glue with my fever! We still haven’t found one rogue nail, which is disturbing lol, but they started popping like popcorn, even into the cat food when I scooped a bowl! 🤣 Lastly, although we’re having to make some modifications due to Covid cutting events out of our time frame, the Handfasting plans are coming along nicely. I think, in a way, the adaptations that are coming about are even better. It’s definitely not the original three mental images that we had, but it’s more cohesive and “us”. We had to cancel our engagement photo shoot and have had some issues with my dress, but being sick, and honestly a bit scared about it causing complications, has really helped to hone in on the things that really matter to us. And that’s how I want to close this little catch up post.

Life is hectic and the world feels like it’s in turmoil. Just don’t forget to take stock of the things that really matter to you. Celebrate any milestone you can, hug a loved one if you can and hold on long enough that it becomes a memory seared into your heart. Rejoice in having family/friend game night again and cherish the laughter. No matter how crazy it is and how much you’re struggling right now, you are loved. As someone who has fought suicidal ideation a lot before, I know it may be hard for some to believe and trust in it, but you are loved. And if you’re lucky enough to be in love, learn their love languages and wrap yourself in those beautiful moments to help during the bumpy moments. Don’t forget to pamper yourself in whatever way that suits you, either! A bubble bath, 5 minutes on the back deck without kids, crafting, or even gaming. You’ve had a rough year. Show yourself some love. 😊

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