Tag Archives: Humor
Hungry? by Sauce Box
Absolutely nothing original here from me today, folks. However, I think this is still well worth a read, because the blogger cracked me up, especially as a bath and body product crafter. Since you are technically following a crafter’s blog, and he’s discussing the delicious scents being used in products nowadays, I couldn’t resist sharing his post with you. Please go to Sauce Box’s original post HERE to click like and hopefully subscribe, because he has some great posts. Without further ado, here is Sauce Box’s Hungry? blog post from 6/19/18 (I know, I’m behind *laugh*)…
“Mmm, soap. Yummy.
Very stupid post here but I just wanted to express my feelings towards surface cleaner, hand soap, and really any cleaning product in general that chooses to portray itself as absolutely delicious.
I’m not gonna name brands but I just cleaned my kitchen counters with a cleaning spray that had the scent of “Pink Grapefruit Banana Kiwi”. I don’t know about any of you guys, but let me tell you, that shit smells flat out amazing. As I cleaned, I seriously considered spraying some onto my tongue or even just screwing the cap off and taking a little sip of it. (Yeah, insert Tide pod jokes here.) The stuff is even in a see through bottle and is a radiant pinkish purple color, looking like a refreshingly delectable beverage that should be going straight down the hatch. It even says, “Non-toxic”. Seriously? Are you tempting me? Do you want me to try it? Cause I will.
I went online to search up the other “flavors” and oh, it gets much better. “Minty Lemon squeeze”. “Toasted Almond”. “Rosemary Herb Butter.” Dude, am I cleaning my counters or am I spraying this on my pasta?
And that’s just surface cleaner. Let’s not even get started with the “Winter Candy Cocoa”, “Frosted French Toast”, and “Warm Apple Pie”, hand soaps. Are you kidding me? How do you even portray warmth in a scent first of all, and second, we live in a world where soap is making me hungry. I sit on my couch sniffing my freaking hands after I go to the bathroom like some kind of narcissistic psychopath.
Dude, if I was a kid, I’d be cussing my mom out on the daily.
“You’re gonna eat soap now to clean out that filthy mouth!”
“Sweet! Can it be the Chocolate Caramel Bundt Cake this time? I ate too much of the Creme Brulee yesterday and got a stomach ache. Bitch”.
Imagine being a parent and telling your five-year-old not to eat this shit.
“Now, these are chemicals, Billy. You do not, under any circumstance, put these in your mouth.”
“Then why is it called ‘Scrum-diddly-umptious Marshmallows and Skittles cleaner?’”
“Because, well— I don’t actually know, Billy. Sounds pretty damn tasty to me.”
The actual food these products are imitating doesn’t even smell or look as good as these delicious chemicals.
All in all it’s probably some kind of conspiracy to thin out the heard. Speed up Darwinism. Next thing you know they’ll have flavored lighter fluid and candy cane car exhaust.
Moral of the story: If you eat Tide pods, you’re a dumb ass. Soap and surface cleaner is where it’s at, man.”
A few just for fun
I thought I’d keep it short today and post a few “hmmm” type memes.
Once you think about it you realize just how true this is.
Aaaaand then we go to this end of the spectrum. LOL Makes you wonder what you’ve done or what quirk you have that has made someone talk about you. I use that thought to keep me occupied and my mind off of the procedure when I have a CT or MRI of my head done.
Random Amusement
I’m really sick today (Fibro is NOT proud of me for getting out 3 times in one week!), so instead of responding to readers as I had planned, or writing that empowerment post, I’m going to post some pins that really amuse me. I think we all could use a few smiles, even if you save this until your sick day.
The following I would LOVE to do for our adoption announcement, when that dream ever becomes a reality, but I don’t have the nerve to be a Smart aleck like this…
And the next ones I can SO imagine L doing for Kiddo…
The last is one I have always thought was an odd saying and I laugh every single time I read this one. This is how my mind works, folks. And I finally found someone else posting the same kinds of thoughts. LOL
Healthy and happy wishes to everyone! 🙂
Just a Little Fun
After such an emotional post yesterday (ended up finishing today, but that’s because it took almost two hours for me to finish writing it! lol), I decided that today I just want to post a few fun things. First, I cut off all my hair a few weeks ago, in the middle of the night, and on the way to a hockey game with friends and Scouts, I had some fun with Snapchat. Yep, I’m still learning and making sure I don’t forget how to use it by the time we get Kiddo. Of course, I’ll have probably ten more teen used apps to learn by then, but in the meantime, enjoy some funny pics, especially since we don’t like to have our pic taken (although we’re working on it, since there will be lots of family pictures taken!).
A bit of flower power combats the dark side 😉
Polar Bear tried to make L let me take a pic
(My pic is about two months old there and no, I’ve never been daring enough to wear dark makeup. *grin*)
I found this pin one day and it was perfect for me. I am incredibly challenged when it comes to directions, spatial awareness, and navigation. I have an excuse though! They have actually made a connection to Fibro being a likely cause, since our brains are kind of incorrectly wired. Plus, I think “take a left at the big tree just past the red barn, then a right after the vet’s clinic, and then go straight for a couple of miles until you finally see a mailbox on the left side – take a right and go up that driveway” is a completely viable form of directions. *laugh* I learned a long time ago to pass the direction giving on to others. I’d be worse than the sat-nav telling you to turn right when it’s now a lake. I admit my failings. 🙂
H P Mallory
My mind right now is much like going down the rabbit hole, so prepare yourself for a week of wildly unrelated subjects, until I get a little more used to my new meds. Consider yourself warned and hopefully you enjoy the ride. *laugh*
I’d like to introduce you to an awesome author today that has some really fun books in a couple genres, but is legitimately an awesome person from all of the interviews and blurbs I’ve read. I’ve followed her writing for years, since her stories are less predictable for me, and her price point has always been so affordable. To top it all off, she’s a self published author (or started out that way. I stopped stalking interviews and went for the books after I got addicted. Lol). I have massive respect for indie authors and try to support them when I can.
Now, her stuff is a little steamier than I would normally discuss or promote on here, but I’ll stick to the innocent stuff and let you take a look here on your own to see if you might be interested. (If you know paranormal romance and a little cursing just isn’t your thing, please skip the rest of today’s post.) I’ll start with pics for some of the first books in her series (I checked – that’s how the dictionary said to put the plural, so it’s not my fault it looks weird when I’m talking about three different sets of books!).
When I was notified that she has branched into two sassy affirmation books, I hurried to order and support her. Now, these are definitely sassy, so if a bit of cursing or eye candy bothers you, don’t click the link. *laugh* One is an adult coloring book with an affirmation on each page. I actually use the coloring as therapy to help with getting better control of my tremor and grip, plus the humor and coloring is great for stress relief. The second has some of the same affirmations, but have a different pairing with the affirmation. Here is the description with kind of a nicer take on curse words…
So, if you’re a bit sassy and could use some affirmations, but need humor or coloring to help you remember to read some, check out Speak It Into Existence and we’ll just call the other Affirmations for linking purposes. Lol
You’ll get gems like:
