This post is more of a reflection than a rambling about my excitement or another stumble in my journey. My GoPayment (aka GP) app updated and when I was entering a charge today (well, yesterday if you’ve slept, but whatever) I discovered that a new feature is pictures. It sounds so trivial, but instead of strictly selecting the product codes for an order I can now add a picture for each product which is seriously handy with my system. It took at least an hour to get all of my codes, descriptions, and prices entered originally, so I’m definitely not knocking that work, but there are a few products with close enough names that I’ve made some mistakes and love anything that I can use in a double check system.
Anyway, my iPhone had died a few weeks back and although channeling my inner nerd helped bring me back from despair (thank you iCloud and ioS 4+ for allowing me to save directly to it all of this time), I still managed to not upload all of my business pics to my new phone. When I saw that I could use pics on GP, and face palmed a bit once I noticed I didn’t have the pics, I realized that most things would be on my site or blog and that I could just grab them there. I know, I know…it’d really have been quicker to just go drop my pics from my computer into my cloud, but that took a few hours to dawn on me and wouldn’t have allowed for my insomnia-fueled thoughts. *ahem* Soooo….I hit the sites and starting grabbing pics. The neat thing is that little bits kept jumping out at me and I found myself reading through things as if I hadn’t been the one to write them. (It’s true that an intriguing side effect of a few of my medications and my illness is to spontaneously seriously suck at remembering stuff, regardless of my former IQ, but it is really surprising to have no recollection of something. It’s kind of like the whole Jekyll and Hyde thing without all of the nasty story lines thankfully.) It makes for an interesting look at yourself and your creativity though.
I realized that my business (any business really, but I’m being totally self absorbed here, so we’ll stick with me and mine for now *grin*) is more like a living thing than I could have ever predicted or expected. The more attention I can give it, the more it thrives. The thought that I pour into all aspects shows as each part develops. The more that I “water the garden” with my energy, research, and vulnerabilities, the more it blossoms. When I was self employed as a medical billing consultant I was very proud of my accomplishments, but never had this awe of what could come from my hard work. It was simply something I was good at and I could sometimes help others through it. This business, this tiny business that started with a couple of soaps and a ziploc of bath salts, is completely about helping others in some way while also learning how to be creative again. Consulting was never a beautiful flower just waiting to be nurtured, growing with me as I made my way. It just existed. It certainly didn’t celebrate any of my creativity.
It’s a magical moment when a person can read months of experiences and smile because they can suddenly see how far they’ve come or become excited all over again about an idea. Being creative has helped me learn to not be so critical of myself and to let others see some of the vulnerabilities. It’s actually incredibly hard for me to admit to my failings, which helped me push myself so hard to excel at billing and to overcome some of my limitations. Sharing my experiences behind making the products has made me see that it’s okay to make mistakes and have bad days, while celebrating the amazing moments in the journey.
I never would have guessed that I’d spend hours researching EOs to help with Rosacea or oils that work as anti inflammatories, or the even more previous hours spent making perfectly imperfect creations. I never knew that growing a business could help me grow too. Because of you very wonderful and important people that have encouraged me with my venture I have learned that I can still have a good impact on others even when I’m stuck in a wheelchair or a walker. That means a whole lot more than a perfect looking soap.
I hope that everyone gets to experience a chance to stand back and see how far they’ve come, what they’ve learned, and cheer over their successes. Even more than that I hope that we all learn to love our imperfect selves. While we’re all being thoughtful we can also enjoy a relaxing bath and then lather up with a rich and healing lotion. I have a great connection with someone that can hook you up! 😉