RSS Feed

Category Archives: Funny Bits

Hungry? by Sauce Box

Absolutely nothing original here from me today, folks.  However, I think this is still well worth a read, because the blogger cracked me up, especially as a bath and body product crafter.  Since you are technically following a crafter’s blog, and he’s discussing the delicious scents being used in products nowadays, I couldn’t resist sharing his post with you.  Please go to Sauce Box’s original post HERE to click like and hopefully subscribe, because he has some great posts.  Without further ado, here is Sauce Box’s Hungry? blog post from 6/19/18 (I know, I’m behind *laugh*)…

 

“Mmm, soap. Yummy.

Very stupid post here but I just wanted to express my feelings towards surface cleaner, hand soap, and really any cleaning product in general that chooses to portray itself as absolutely delicious.

I’m not gonna name brands but I just cleaned my kitchen counters with a cleaning spray that had the scent of “Pink Grapefruit Banana Kiwi”. I don’t know about any of you guys, but let me tell you, that shit smells flat out amazing. As I cleaned, I seriously considered spraying some onto my tongue or even just screwing the cap off and taking a little sip of it. (Yeah, insert Tide pod jokes here.) The stuff is even in a see through bottle and is a radiant pinkish purple color, looking like a refreshingly delectable beverage that should be going straight down the hatch. It even says, “Non-toxic”. Seriously? Are you tempting me? Do you want me to try it? Cause I will.

I went online to search up the other “flavors” and oh, it gets much better. “Minty Lemon squeeze”. “Toasted Almond”. “Rosemary Herb Butter.” Dude, am I cleaning my counters or am I spraying this on my pasta?

And that’s just surface cleaner. Let’s not even get started with the “Winter Candy Cocoa”, “Frosted French Toast”, and “Warm Apple Pie”, hand soaps. Are you kidding me? How do you even portray warmth in a scent first of all, and second, we live in a world where soap is making me hungry. I sit on my couch sniffing my freaking hands after I go to the bathroom like some kind of narcissistic psychopath.

Dude, if I was a kid, I’d be cussing my mom out on the daily.

“You’re gonna eat soap now to clean out that filthy mouth!”

“Sweet! Can it be the Chocolate Caramel Bundt Cake this time? I ate too much of the Creme Brulee yesterday and got a stomach ache. Bitch”.

Imagine being a parent and telling your five-year-old not to eat this shit.

“Now, these are chemicals, Billy. You do not, under any circumstance, put these in your mouth.”

“Then why is it called ‘Scrum-diddly-umptious Marshmallows and Skittles cleaner?’”

“Because, well— I don’t actually know, Billy. Sounds pretty damn tasty to me.”

The actual food these products are imitating doesn’t even smell or look as good as these delicious chemicals.

All in all it’s probably some kind of conspiracy to thin out the heard. Speed up Darwinism. Next thing you know they’ll have flavored lighter fluid and candy cane car exhaust.

Moral of the story: If you eat Tide pods, you’re a dumb ass. Soap and surface cleaner is where it’s at, man.”

Neighborhood Watch

Gaming Logo

 

It was a rare night that most of us were able to be on at the same time and hang out.  I’m known for having really weird things in my inventory that I’ve collected over the years (I’m ancient in SL time) and the habit of collecting creative items has spread.  Instead of playing a game or something like that, we found funny animals to ride around the property on.  

 

critter pic_004

Sis’s snail is new, but I bought all of us dinosaurs to ride at an Arcade event nearly a year ago, and we decided to check the new landscape via our critters.  By the way, the dinosaurs truly do make little huffs and grunts like you’d imagine.  So I (Bre) am on the Raptor on the left, Z is on the blue Triceratops, and Sis is on the funny as all get out snail.

 

 

critter pic_006

Z took off on his own for a bit, so I got out my new snail and the Sarcastic Sisters let our snails mingle while we chatted and laughed.  I’m thinking that we should take a stroll on one of the SL roadways and see what kinds of reactions we get.  Once we learned that Z had taken his Dino into the kitchen to eat the pastries I so neatly rezzed in there, we activated our neighborhood watch.

 

critter pic_022

Sis had also won a wandering snail that she gifted me, so we grabbed it to make the last stand as Z and Blue came out of the house.  It might not be the most intimidating neighborhood watch, but it’s the most unique you’ll ever see!!  Never fear, the Regulus Watch is here!

 

 

Shopping and A Little Unhealthy Competition

Gaming Logo

 

Since Spring Cleaning is a bit tough for me I usually end up taking it into SL and organizing or changing things up.  It’s one of the few places I can be totally in control and get everything done without tiring out or paying the price tomorrow.  Win-win, except it can be a bit frustrating for my roommates.  *laugh*

 

I all ready changed up houses and furnishings in the past month, so all I need to do is finishing redecorating and then I’m done with the house for the moment.  That leaves landscaping and out buildings for me to fiddle with.  Mawahahaha.  (That’s for you, Z.  You’re welcome.  Go ahead and picture me rubbing my hands together with an evil smile, because I so did it when I thought of you sighing over me messing with the landscaping.)  We’ve had the same landscape through fall and winter, so I thought it was past time to get creative.  I dragged Luke along to Studio Skye’s Sim, where all landscaping products are displayed in a gorgeous sim layout, to help pick out some new pieces to incorporate into the home landscape.  We ended up wandering all over and appreciating the incredible areas, as well. 

 

Studio Skye 4 5 18_003

 

Even if you’re not into landscaping or have a LL home, so you can’t landscape, I still recommend visiting the sim.  It ranges from enchanted paths, mountains with cliffs, and even a beach area.  There’s a great snow area as well, so make sure to check it out come winter time, too.  Some of our favorite winter landscaping features are from there (and Christmas decor at Real Waves, of course).

 

We found some great mesh rock pieces and then an awesome little pond scene with a bunch of animations built in.  Although I’m a bit of a mesh snob and can’t stand prim trees usually, I’m a sucker for willow trees, and when I found a built in animation for sitting together, chatting, under the tree, I couldn’t resist getting it.  It’s a little more cuddly than I usually go for, but it’s just so enchanting!

 

Studio Skye 4 5 18_016

 

After spending my lindens we followed the sound of rushing water up and around the hill.  We found a beautiful waterfall piece overlooking the next scenery set up.  Although the sun was going down I bullied Luke into posing for a picture near the falls.  I honestly think it is one of the prettiest water pieces in SL right now.  Someday I hope to start our property all over again and use waterfalls as the starring feature of the landscape.  In the meantime, I get to enjoy them at Studio Skye.

 

Studio Skye 4 5 18_030

 

After a beautiful afternoon we decided to hit a new-to-us place in the Destination Guide.  It has a TP board full of locations to hang out and even drive or race.  Since Luke saw my new little vehicle, he decided to challenge me.  He had picked up the “Race-a-loo” while at Hogs and Cart Wheels doing the For Him hunt.   So it was a loo vs loo race, although it was a tad unfair, since his was so much bigger than mine, but I evened it out with the (nearly uncontrollable) speed of my little racer.  It was so funny I had to add an antique filter to the picture, since that’s going up on our living room picture gallery. How’d my dust taste, Luke?  *cracking up*

 

Bre and L pooper competition_005

 

Although the location was mostly prim based and not as scenic as I’m used to seeing on the Destination Guide, I love that they encouraged rezzing and riding on all areas of the sim, so when you’re looking for a new place to explore, don’t forget the Destination Guide.  And I’m just going to end it here, because I keep having to delete the bathroom humor that keeps popping into my mind while trying to write an ending for the post.  *laugh* I hope you have a wonderful week and get to find a fun adventure that will give you a few laughs.  🙂

Oregon Trail

When I was in elementary school we would get to play the original Oregon Trail on massive computers and it was the highlight of the week. I got to sit down, pick the supplies and such, and send my little pixel family down the Trail. And they died. They always died. Every so often the livestock would drown while crossing a river, so my little wagon train would too. Sometimes they were hungrier than usual and died of starvation. 9 times out of 10 they’d die from dysentery. Of course I was a smaller version of the nerd that I currently am and had to learn what in the world my little pixels kept dying from. Ew. They died from uncontrollable diarrhea. Seriously?!

Fast forward through my life and whenever I feel like Murphy’s Law is being exceptionally cruel I say “you died of dysentery”. I had to stop watching documentaries about the actual Oregon Trail because my mind automatically went there. So I’d be the crazy person trying to muffle my laughter because every time they talked about the hardships I’d always wonder how many died of diarrhea.

I’ve worked in the medical field, and had to learn a whole lot more to be an advocate for my medical care as someone with a chronic illness must be, and know how life threatening GI issues were and can be. However there’s still a ten year old inside of me that points at the people in the pictures that does the whole Oprah “and you get a car” type of pointing, substituted with “and you got dysentery! And you got dysentery!”. Yeah, I all ready know I often have a morbid sense of humor.

I’ve actually talked about it so much that L had to share a picture with me that he found online. I get this random text from him and it quickly became my phone wallpaper.

This has become my favorite way of beginning or ending text conversations and the ten year old in me grins like the Cheshire Cat. Have fun trying to get this out of your head now. *laugh* It’s especially fun to mentally do the Oprah point when you’re around a crowd of annoying people, like a school function or the doctor’s office when the doctor is running behind. I can guarantee that it really helps if you get anxious around crowds. When, in your mind’s eye, you see half the people holding the seat of their pants after basically getting the worst dose of colon blow ever, it can actually be difficult to not be cheerful.

Hey, dysentery happens, so sometimes you just have to go with the flow. Yep, I felt obliged to go there. Hopefully the new version of the game sells Pepto Bismol.

This post was approved by the juvenile sense of humor hanging out in the back of your mind. 😉

Two of My Favorite GMM Videos

IMG_4612

 

I was a very happy Mythical Beast on the 9th when Good Mythical Morning (GMM) had Kelsea Ballerini as their guest on two of their YouTube segments.  I thought a couple of funny videos might help with those possible green beer hangovers.  *grin*  They both have a country flavor, but I think they’d be hilarious even if I wasn’t a country fan.

 

If you aren’t familiar with their channel, GMM is hosted by “internetainers” Rhett and Link.  They have 3 segments each weekday with a “show after the show” on their GMMore channel.  They guys are known to do a lot of “will it” themed taste tests, games, skits as other characters, and have their own merchandise (L spoiled me with some merch I wanted ever since I discovered them and I am currently dressed in these *grin*), a book, a bunch of albums (some as singles), weekly podcasts, and two seasons of their Buddy System series on YouTube Red.  They have been friends since they were kids and somehow have been able to work together in different ventures for most of their lives without ruining their friendship.  GMM is a favorite YouTube show around the world and us fans refer to ourselves as “Mythical Beasts”.

 

Now, back to the fun part!  They changed things up this season and are having more guests on the show, and when country singer Kelsea Ballerini was on they brought out their country sides.  In the first segment they create country songs out of online complaints and in the second the guys take up their country singer characters (a duo named Rabbit Lightning) to sing backup during Kelsea’s “I Hate Love Songs” performance.  (I added the link to the picture of each segment, so just click the picture for a new tab that goes right to it.)  Hopefully these will help you start your day off with a smile (and maybe convert a few more people into Mythical Beasts *grin*)!

 

First segment:

GMM and Kelsea Ballerini Online Complaints Country Songs

 

Second segment:

Kelsea Ballerini ft Rabbit Llightning Singing I Hate Love Songs

Fun at Funerals

L was looking at Facebook yesterday and showed me the following picture…

He then scrolled through some of the comments (mostly repeats of 3 songs) and I thought it might be some politically incorrect fun to make an actual list. Most are meant to be sarcastic, macabre, or just plain wrong. lol. I’d love to see your ideas for the list, so please take a moment to comment with them! 🙂

Here are some great ones to start it:

Always look on the bright side of life (Eric Idle/Monty Python)

Another One Bites the Dust (Queen)

Bad day (Daniel Powter)

Bad things (Jace Everett) – So very wrong lol

Best Day of my Life (American Authors)

Bitch (Meredith Brooks)

Bring Me to Life (Alixandrea Corvyn)

Bye Bye Baby (Bay City Rollers)

Bye Bye Bye (*NSYNC)

Celebrate Good Times (Kool and the gang)

Deja Vu (Lauren Duski, Katy Perry, etc)

The Devil Went Down to Georgia (Charlie Daniels Band)

Every Breath You Take (The Police)

Ding Dong the Witch is Dead (obvious pick which I know was listed on FB)

Don’t Fear the Reaper (Blue Oyster Cult)

The Exorcist (Theme Song)

Friends in Low Places (Garth Brooks) – ouch

Gives You Hell (The All-American Rejects)

Good Riddance (Green Day) – So Wrong lol

Good to Be Alive (Hallelujah)

Hells Bells (AC/DC)

Hell on Heals (Pistol Annies)

Highway to Hell (AC/DC – on FB)

I am Melodramatic (Luke Rainsford) – Almost a little too cheeky for this. *laugh*

Land Down Under (Men at Work)

Ice Ice Baby (Vanilla Ice)

I’ll Keep You Safe (Sleep at Last) – That’ll be complicated now. *grin*

In Hell I’ll Be in Good Company (The Dead South) – them there are fightin’ words 😉

Janie’s Got a Gun (Aerosmith)

Light My Fire (The Doors – perfect for cremation!)

Lord, I Hope This Day is Good (Don Williams)

Problem (Ariana Grande)

The Safety Dance (Men Without Hats)

Pop Goes the Weasel (obvious too)

Shake it Off (Taylor Swift) – might just be my fav, just a little ahead of Pop Goes the Weasel and Ding Dong. I’ve been in a very sarcastic mood lately, so they all tickle me. *laugh*

Since U Been Gone (Kelly Clarkson)

Something to Talk About (Bonnie Raitt) – Eww!

Staying Alive (BeeGees, on original FB post)

Take Me to Church (Hozier) – So wrong, but the name sounds suitable if you aren’t familiar with the lyrics *grin*

Thriller (Michael Jackson)

Timing is Everything (Country Strong soundtrack) – Timing is a concept we tend to fail at. *laugh*

Tubthumping (Chumbawamba) – You’re staying down this time, Buddy…

We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together (Taylor Swift) – Never a truer statement!

You Light Up My Life (Debby Boone – awesome pick for cremation)

(You’re the) Devil in Disguise (Elvis)

I had a lot of fun making the list and hope it’ll give you a few laughs. Please hop into the comment box with your ideas. In the meantime, hang in there; it’s almost Friday. 🙂

Bonding by Taste Testing

img_4249-1

 

I’ve researched A LOT about bonding ideas for teenage adoptions.  Several articles mentioned trying new foods together and I kept thinking about what I could plan without knowing what Kiddo has all ready had.  We don’t really have very exotic palettes, so I figured I’d need to think outside the box most likely.

 

Thankfully I’m a big fan of Good Mythical Morning (Mythical Beasts shout out!) and Facts., both shows on YouTube.  They both feature a lot of daring taste tests and I’ve learned about some interesting foods that we don’t normally see in Kansas.  During an episode of GMM right before Valentine’s they did a spicy taste test/rating scale.  Two products rated pretty high on the spicy scale, The World’s Hottest Chocolate Bar and the Toe of Satan.

While watching the episode I kept thinking about how L had found a bottle of super spicy hot sauce on our honeymoon and he didn’t get it, and of course they didn’t have it when we made it back to that store a few years later.  I thought that the spiciest foods Rhett and Link ever had might be a fun replacement and a very unique Valentine’s gift for L.  After some searching I finally found them on the Vat19 website.  That chocolate bar there is meant to be eaten by one of those tiny squares at a time, if that much!  They were sold out at the time, probably because there are a lot of Mythical Beasts out there, but they had the Toe of Satan (the lollipop in the right picture) and a bag of Ghost Pepper Hard Candies.  (Note: it turns out he just wanted the bottle of hot sauce as a conversational piece, not because he wanted to try something excessively spicy.  He got to torture his coworkers with them, though, so they were still a successful gift.  *laugh*)

 

I couldn’t resist looking around on their site since there were all sorts of fun categories to check out like gummy, gadgets, thinking putty, and crazy candy/foods.  I saw Mberry tablets and got so excited, because I had seen them tested on both shows and never knew where to get them.  These tablets are made from the berries of the Miracle Fruit Plant (Synsepalum dulcificum) and make acidic and sour foods taste sweet.  As I added them to the cart it dawned on me that these would make an awesome bonding taste test.  Lemons, limes, kiwi, sour cream, mustard, and even pickles would be a super affordable and fun taste test without being too extreme.  This tablet transforms foods and adults have gone nuts over how different foods taste, so I figure it’ll be mind-blowing, “gotta tweet this”, kind of fun for a teen.  *grin*  Shoot, I’ll probably feel that way too!

 

 

As I looked around I saw a few other items that will be even more daring without being spicy (I don’t want to give a bunch of teens ulcers or something *grin*).  The scorpion lollipops were a no-go; I’ve been terrified of scorpions most of my life and have to turn away even if they’re dead.  No.  Just no.  Then I saw one that most likely made me laugh like a villain.

IMG_4406

 

Yep, Bacon & Cheese flavored crickets.  Now THAT should be pretty daring!  I know from watching GMM that crickets taste a lot better when there’s a little flavor added to them, otherwise they taste kind of stale nut-ish.  Here’s the ultimate test to see if bacon truly does make everything better.  *laugh*

 

Bacon jam spread and astronaut ice cream will probably make an appearance as well.  Go big or go home, I figure.  The taste testing adventure should give the teens something to talk about later, at least!

 

While on there I took a little side trip and found my own Valentine’s gift, too.  *grin* A few years ago ThinkGeek sold gift boxes to become a “Laird” or “Lady” as a fundraiser to renovate and help fund the upkeep of Dunans Castle and grounds, in Argyll, Scotland.  You become the owner of one square foot of land, which allows you the honorary title and a free tour if you ever make it there.  Since I am obsessed with Ireland and Scotland I showed it to L to get it for me for Christmas, but it was sold out when he went to order it.  It then disappeared from their site.  To my delight Vat19 has them now!  I didn’t want a repeat of last time, so I ordered that gem with the wild foods.  No matter how raspy my voice gets when the bronchitis kicks up a coughing jag, I am still officially a Lady.  *smirk*  I know it’s similar to paying for a star to be named after me, but hey, I get to say I own a little property over in Scotland and be a Lady, even when I’m in sweats and a beanie cap.  *laugh*

IMG_E4673

Now I get to wave Scotland’s Saint Andrew Cross flag along with my nerd flag!

 

All in all it was quite a fun online shopping trip and within a month I became a titled land owner.  *grin*  Cross your fingers that Kiddo will be into the idea and I can get a lot of pics of a wild taste test! In the meantime I need to stop flipping back to the Vat19 site and thinking about ordering some ferrofluid to stash away as one of Kiddo’s stocking stuffers…

%d bloggers like this: