Surgery

So, I go in for surgery on Tuesday to remove some very infected adenoids.  Apparently they weren’t removed during the tonsillectomy years ago and, with my immune system, instead of shrinking to near nothingness usually, mine has been causing the nonstop extra illness for months, if not longer.  We have hope that getting out something that infects my sinuses and stuff, that I have a chance at increasing my quality of life again.  Of course, being me, I’m prepared for the worst case scenarios.  A new Will, Advance Health Directive, and Power of Attorney have all been completed and notarized.  Log ins and sites have been given to those I trust to remove my online presence, things like that.  The usual risk analysis kind of stuff.  *laugh*

I was surprised to realize that it bothered me more this time to do the risk analysis and write out the instructions from removing us from the adoption sites, refunding the donations, notifying our Social Worker, etc.  The thought of getting so close to finishing our forever family and losing it has been a scary concept that I didn’t expect.  It makes me extra thankful that they wanted to do surgery quickly, and that it was all done before we get to meet Kiddo.  Minimizes the trauma for her and L.

The other thing that bothers me is the possibility that the surgery (survived) could cause some extra problems, like the septoplasty and tonsillectomy surgery did.  To this day I am now getting some help for problems from that surgery.  If I lose the extra depth of smelling different notes in scents, it would be rather devastating to make product again.  Some of the beauty would be gone and it would be a reminder of how things went wrong.  Although I’d LOVE to not smell cheese, bread, and milk going bad before anyone else can.  At my age that surgery carries higher risks, especially with my risk factors, so I know there’s more chance of issues with my sinuses.  That would definitely be an interesting fork in that path of life, if it occurs.

Thankfully they approved my 4 AM dose of anxiety and pain medications, when I have to start fasting at midnight.  There was just no way I’d make it more than 13 hours without either, unless they wanted to give me more than just anesthesia.  *laugh* Almost all informative documents have been typed, I have done as much recovery food prep that I could, and as much cleaning and laundry that I could, since recovery can take me longer due to the Fibro.  I think my lost spoons came back and are beating me down my back and legs in anger over working so much for the past couple of days.  I have a few items left and then I’m set for either way.  Either way, I’ve been very blessed to have a tough road of life with a lot of beautiful scenery along it, along with the most beautiful and amazing people in it.  I wish we didn’t get lost in the minutiae of daily life that we don’t fully appreciate the richness of our personal lives and those would are cheering you on while you travel your path.  And, if the risks prove too high, I’m thankful that I hopefully brought inspiration to at least one or two people along the way, so that they consider helping a child in the system, and that I had the chance to fight for motherhood.

I wish each of you happiness and a few moments away from your day to notice the blessings and loving supporters you have.