Well, I had some time for recovery yesterday, of course, between unconsciousness and insomnia. Lol However, I’ve counting today as the first real day, and wanted to wave into my post box to say “hey, I survived!”. *grin*
Surgery went well, although my Fibromyalgia has definitely found a new playground and my body didn’t appreciate the positioning for intubation. Thankfully the Fibro inflammation along the back of the neck will ease within a few weeks, from having the head back. The tongue lesion is at pathology to verify tumor status, so hopefully it’s just a fun Fibro freaked my body out and made a new toy thing instead of something serious. 🙂
The hardest part is one of the most un-Georgia-like posts, but as an adult, it’s worrisome when discovered and no one has informed you in the tons of paperwork…while cauterizing the back of my mouth (above the uvula) got it too and the skin has been sloughing down into my throat. Unfortunately, I have constant drip and can’t spit yet, so that slimy goo is mixing in the drip and making me feel like I’m going to die of asphyxiation. The discovery of the big white lesion at like 3AM was a bit of a freak out, since I was unaware that I should expect this. Weirdest thing I’ve ever written…I’ve never wanted to be able to spit so badly before. *grin* Second weirdest: pre-op nurse called prior to surgery and reminded me to bring an extra pair of underwear. So I went into surgery hoping I’d survive and that I apparently wouldn’t have soiled drawers. That created a whole new level of “what the…?” to it all. *laugh*
Thankfully I’m allowed to take the Marinol and Meclizine for my stomach, so I’m handling all that brewing in my tummy just fine. Trying to swallow a pill (let alone 10+) when you feel there’s a big wad in your throat is definitely a mind-over-manner thing.
When the nurse was removing my IV she asked why I was smiling so much and I said that it was because making it through this surgery means I still get to adopt my daughter. We’re still waiting for our paths to cross, but the journey continues. We both had to wipe tears of joy.
And the most beautiful part of it all is that my mom has stayed with me through all of this, despite feeling better if she was in her own Fibro “nest” and will stay tonight too, to ease my mind after my tonsillectomy recovery being so terrifying. We have had the most deep, connected, and meaningful conversations that we haven’t had a chance to have in a long time. To top it off we even at points in our seasons of life to talk about things we never did and actually tell one another how we find each other’s traits and characters so incredible. I’ve been sick with some formerly unnamed extra illness for so long that we haven’t had much ability to have deep conversations and this was the most meaningful set we’ve ever had, especially as adults. So I’m very thankful for the diagnosis (finally), the surgery, and having a mom being a mom for her adult daughter’s recovery. I have an even deeper appreciation for that since my own daughter will have probably missed out on things she’s gone through. At least I have the example that I can still be the comfort of Mom when my daughter goes through things, too, once the timing is right. Every step further in this journey is difficult, but has a lot of hidden lessons. I will have the blessing of being the forever mother for Kiddo, no matter how our paths curve.
So, sloughing and silver linings; they’re a blessing. Who knew they could go together?! 🙂