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Monthly Archives: October 2018

Short Update

It’s been really hard to write even this short note, but I am finally doing it.

The adoption fell through and we are going through a tough time. I’m getting help for both my mind and body, as my body is having some reactions to everything, but we need a bit of time to work through everything and get back to a neutral state of mind again. I promise I’ll be back to the blog as soon as I am better. I sincerely appreciate all of the encouragement and care that has been given throughout our long journey, and look forward to a clear mind and creating again.

To end on a better note, I’m closing with a picture of our newly taken in stray kittens, Bella and Zane, being all adorably snuggly.

Clovers Anyone?

Yep, I totally went there for my Celtic Thunder post.  *cracking up*  I will not apologize for it either, since I absolutely love a well fitting kilt on a man, and we got to see several of them wearing them.  *happy sigh* Hey, I’d sigh over the big guy wearing one too, but that’ll never happen, so it’s my burden to sigh at Irishmen wearing them.  *smirk*  (Just a heads up, this will be a picture laden post, so loading may take a little extra time than usual.)

 

For an overnight trip, it feels like so much happened!  I was still on a high from having just met Kiddo in person at our meeting and from our nightly phone calls.  Plus, I got to dress up in my new leather jacket and booties, and I even put on a bit of makeup (although I think I shivered it all off by the time the pictures were taken *laugh*).  I tried, which actually means I put a lot of effort into dressing for the concert.  We got to go their concert in 2016, so I was determined to make this “as a new mom” with my mom time even better.

 

It started with an overnight stay at The Courtyard by Marriott, in Salina.  Absolutely gorgeous and very clean; I actually got to watch another room get cleaned and they strip the beds all the way down, etc., so it’s truly clean and that makes me a loyal customer.  Just check out the basic two queens room…

 

We went to this random chicken restaurant that looked like a small mom-and-pop-type and had the best comfort food ever!  Beef, mashed potatoes, and gravy open-faced sandwich, along with real baked beans on the side.  *sigh*

Comfort food

 

We got ready and arrived early, since last time it was so packed, but we underestimated how cold it would become and that they wouldn’t let us wait in the lobby even once it dipped below forty.  I tried to distract us for a while by talking about Kiddo’s meeting, calls, and Mom’s parenting advice, and then with Snapchat filters and pictures.

Cool Rider

 

Hot Mama

 

Mom and I Beary Happy

 

Once we finally got in, got souvenirs right off the bat, we found our seats just a few rows back from the stage.  I did an excellent job of fighting the downed server in the first minutes the early group was allowed to buy tickets last year!  Look how close we were to the stage!

These aren’t even zoomed in.   When Ryan from CT reached out his hand to the audience, it seemed like I could almost touch it.  Holy smokes!

 

The Theatre itself has amazing architecture and is a wonder to look at while waiting, too!

Stiefel Theatre

Stiefel Theatre

Balcony 1

Balcony 1

Balcony 2

Balcony 2

Stained Glass Light

Stained Glass Light

 

 

As expected their X tour concert was phenomenal, with a mix of Oldies, some of their original songs, and even covers of current songs, such as Galway Girl© by Ed Sheeran, covered by Damian McGinty (ah-maz-ing as they dramatically say).  Seasons in the Sun© and The Streets of London© both brought tears to our eyes, while Bye Bye Baby© and I’m a Believer© were so much fun to sing along with.  This time there were only four of the guys, but they did a fantastic job still, were just as good if not better than their DVD performance of the first concert for the tour, and were so engaging.  I sincerely hope they come back in 2020, so it can be three generations of us singing Ireland’s Call© as the concert closes.

 

You know what makes it even better?  My daughter wore hers to bed the first night and put it back on anytime she was in the house.  It was awesome to see her all sleepy eyed in her new shirt that she didn’t want to take off.  Between the new mom with established mom conversations, a spot of Christmas shopping, a phenomenal concert that included kilts, and then rushing home to go get my daughter, that was the best two-day concert trip I’ve ever had.  A sleepy eyed daughter wearing her Celtic Thunder tee was the whipped topping for my dessert of blessings.

 

By the way, if you’re interested or curious, you can check Celtic Thunder out on YouTube, their website, and Amazon (plus others probably, but these are the ones I can personally vouch for).  If you’re an Amazon Music Unlimited member, most of their work is available, too!

 

Kiddo’s going to help me make a special wall hanging from the concert once I get the pics all printed, to go with the concert book and such.  😀  I haven’t yet brought her over to the Celtic side, but she was pretty preoccupied with her new tablet to listen to my music, so I’m going to try a little I’m a Believer© on her when she comes back very soon while school is out.  Then I’ll get my own lucky charm to help me decide on which style tattoo I’m going to do to celebrate her completing our forever family.  🙂

“Mom”

We had our first home visit with Kiddo, which even included us doing the long drive down to pick her up instead of Transport. We got a little extra time to visit before the drive lulled her to sleep until we were about 40 minutes from home. She picked Taco Bell for a quick dinner, since it was getting late, and then we headed on home. I got her settled in and she loves her bedroom as is, despite my horrible paint job and frequent offers that we can change anything. There was a little visiting and the poor young lady passed out in her new bed.

First thing after brunch it was time to unpack all of the rest of the doll clothes and now she has several outfits for her doll, including PJs which went on overnight), learning how to use her Fire tablet, and setting up her own music playlist for Alexa to play. I learned a lot about a boy singer that is apparently hotter than the sun *grin*, how to tune out JoJo while still listening to my daughter, and about how cool Swift still is. And then I learned a lot about playing horse farm games, which was one of the sweetest evenings ever.

Instead of our Spa Day, we hit the city and ate at a restaurant, where I introduced her to Snapchat filters and got a ton of pictures with her, and finally got her to take some silly pictures, too. When she saw a Christmas inflatable of Olaf that she just loved, the big guy wordlessly bought it. *grin* Me thinks daddy feelings are starting to brew, but I’m not saying that, since he would never say that, you know what I mean? *wink*

She also said it’d be best for the two stray kittens to be brought in Saturday to stay in her room as they acclimate and get trained, before joining our older cats. Kiddo absolutely loves them and one is specifically hers. *grin* She even played a cat app on her tablet for the kittens to bat at electronic mice. It was so adorable to see her with them. They are pretty cute, I admit. Greetings from Zane and Bella…

We spent breakfast with Larry and then back to spend time with the kittens, plus time for some more gaming. (Mini me!!) We even snuggled in bed for a short nap, which was one of the most beautiful times of my life. I decided we should get things gathered and go to the living room about half an hour before Transport was due, just to be able to confirm she had everything. And Transport arrives almost immediately after we enter the living room. After the signing, taking her things out to the car, and waving while watching her go, I had an unexpected breakdown. I didn’t expect the first home visit goodbye to be so hard. Every one of those adoption sayings were absolutely true. I had all ready loved my unknown child, but I had quickly fallen in (motherly) love with this creative, unique, and beautiful young lady.

I sent a text with the picture of the kittens doing well to her foster father to share, so that she could see they’re all right, and I got a reply back from her. It started off as “Hi Mom…”. A few hours later and I’m tearing up again. *sappy smile* I didn’t expect her to refer to me as Mom for a long time, so my heart is so overflowing with joy. My blessings are overflowing, despite a few issues with my health. I always wanted to be a mom and to someday hear it, and had nearly given up on that lifelong wish, and my incredible daughter blessed me with my last “life long wish” tonight. Life is good tonight and I had to share that, since it’s been a long time since I’ve been able to wholeheartedly say that. As they say in a movie, I am incandescently happy. (Or close. I still am, regardless. Lol)

I wish you joy and peace tonight, plus promise to write soon about the amazing Celtic Thunder concert I got back from the day we brought Kiddo home for her visit. 🙂

I Can Only Imagine©™

img_4249-2

 

I watched the title movie a couple of days before we got notified that we were picked for the adoption and have listened to the song for some time all ready.  It lives in my Absolute Faves Right Now playlist.  While puttering around, working on projects to finish before Kiddo comes over soon, I realized that the song applies in other, just as deep, ways.  I knew that it would be the biggest blessing to find and be approved for our forever daughter.  I didn’t know that there are so many blessings just following that even and I’m in awe of what God has been gifting me with.  Within a couple of days I’ve gotten to talk to my daughter (my daughter!) twice over the phone.  She got distracted at times, but hearing her and talking about things she likes to do or what foods she likes…I had tears in my eyes and my heart swelled like the Grinch’s®; way too big to fit in my little body.  The excitement in her voice about trying things she saw we had done or have that were in the scrapbook about us that I made a long time ago for her; the sadness when she learned Bo had passed away since the book was made; how she can’t wait to learn to scrapbook like this and do crafts with me…I couldn’t have imagined that these “little” moments could be such blessings that I would never have guessed at.  God protected such beautiful gifts for when we finally got matched.

 

Finding out that we’ll get to meet this next weekend and get to have two stay overs with us next month…I can only imagine how these will affect us down into our souls.  How would we have ever guessed that we would be blessed to have her stay for Thanksgiving break and move in with a few days to spare before Christmas, to be part of our family forever?  Unlike the question in the song, I’ve sang Hallelujah while crying the happiest tears of my life and I’ve been rendered speechless by the beauty of this blessing God is sharing with us.  In about two and a half months we will have our daughter.  After the past few years I can’t even express the awe that we will get to transition her into our home so quickly.  It’s mere weeks, realistically!  Just months ago I wondered what my purpose in life was; why I had survived the attempted murder.  A few months later God gave us a new path to walk full of love and learning that our purpose is to make this young lady happy and feel the start of  our forever love,  and completely change our priorities to spend the rest of our lives helping her to have the happiest life she can.  Preparing for the hard times and crying happy tears while hugging over the good ones.  It’s hard to imagine that the answer would come in such an incredible way.

 

I had fun over the past two years collecting gifts for her.  I had no idea that buying the additional Christmas gifts that are specific to her interests would be such an adventure!  I get to go to my long awaited concert and the night I come back my daughter will sleep in her bed for the first time in an over-sized concert tee for her nightgown.  I could never have imagined how these little things would feel.

 

And the soaring of my heart when we all agreed, even her foster father, that internet class based homeschooling is the right thing for her at this time.  She needs that one-on-one time and teaching, plus we get to take trips to help make things like history a real concept instead of something in a book, while still also being able to keep up with schoolwork on the computer when away from home!  Plus, there’s built in socialization along with the gradual socialization we have planned – kind of like a dart board.  The bulls-eye is the core support system we thankfully have.  Once she’s comfortable and settled, we will expand out a bit to the next circle of friends and family, and then we will expand to school-organized events, socializing with other kids going to the same homeschool, meeting more distantly connected people, etc.  I’m very thankful that God worked with our Social Worker to make our dreams of how best to help our child work out.  It’ll also give some much needed bonding time, as well, which she definitely deserves a lot of.

 

Anyway, I’ve been in a flurry of preparing the house, going through cabinets to try to change things to what will work for her dietary needs, and wrapping all of the Christmas presents that were waiting in her room, since we were told to not hold out hope for success this year.  Plus, a lot of notes to transcribe to put in my other adoption binder, to have on hand in case we need to refer to her history, etc.  I’m also painting wood to become shelves for her room and a shoe rack.  Might as well utilize my joyful energy.  Who would have guessed that I’d get a few extra spoons after talking to my daughter?!  On the flip side, I have a lot of time I get distracted by the awe of it all and just sit in prayer or meditation, thankful of these beautiful raindrops of blessings from the big blessing.  *soft smile*

 

In the meantime, I won’t get as much written, but you’re along for the glorious ride and my asking y’all advice for which type of gift is a better option, since most of you are established parents.  I’m not above asking for help.  *grin*  So pamper on, and I wish you the joy of raindrops of blessings until I can next sit down and gather my mind.  🙂

 

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