I watched the title movie a couple of days before we got notified that we were picked for the adoption and have listened to the song for some time all ready. It lives in my Absolute Faves Right Now playlist. While puttering around, working on projects to finish before Kiddo comes over soon, I realized that the song applies in other, just as deep, ways. I knew that it would be the biggest blessing to find and be approved for our forever daughter. I didn’t know that there are so many blessings just following that even and I’m in awe of what God has been gifting me with. Within a couple of days I’ve gotten to talk to my daughter (my daughter!) twice over the phone. She got distracted at times, but hearing her and talking about things she likes to do or what foods she likes…I had tears in my eyes and my heart swelled like the Grinch’s®; way too big to fit in my little body. The excitement in her voice about trying things she saw we had done or have that were in the scrapbook about us that I made a long time ago for her; the sadness when she learned Bo had passed away since the book was made; how she can’t wait to learn to scrapbook like this and do crafts with me…I couldn’t have imagined that these “little” moments could be such blessings that I would never have guessed at. God protected such beautiful gifts for when we finally got matched.
Finding out that we’ll get to meet this next weekend and get to have two stay overs with us next month…I can only imagine how these will affect us down into our souls. How would we have ever guessed that we would be blessed to have her stay for Thanksgiving break and move in with a few days to spare before Christmas, to be part of our family forever? Unlike the question in the song, I’ve sang Hallelujah while crying the happiest tears of my life and I’ve been rendered speechless by the beauty of this blessing God is sharing with us. In about two and a half months we will have our daughter. After the past few years I can’t even express the awe that we will get to transition her into our home so quickly. It’s mere weeks, realistically! Just months ago I wondered what my purpose in life was; why I had survived the attempted murder. A few months later God gave us a new path to walk full of love and learning that our purpose is to make this young lady happy and feel the start of our forever love, and completely change our priorities to spend the rest of our lives helping her to have the happiest life she can. Preparing for the hard times and crying happy tears while hugging over the good ones. It’s hard to imagine that the answer would come in such an incredible way.
I had fun over the past two years collecting gifts for her. I had no idea that buying the additional Christmas gifts that are specific to her interests would be such an adventure! I get to go to my long awaited concert and the night I come back my daughter will sleep in her bed for the first time in an over-sized concert tee for her nightgown. I could never have imagined how these little things would feel.
And the soaring of my heart when we all agreed, even her foster father, that internet class based homeschooling is the right thing for her at this time. She needs that one-on-one time and teaching, plus we get to take trips to help make things like history a real concept instead of something in a book, while still also being able to keep up with schoolwork on the computer when away from home! Plus, there’s built in socialization along with the gradual socialization we have planned – kind of like a dart board. The bulls-eye is the core support system we thankfully have. Once she’s comfortable and settled, we will expand out a bit to the next circle of friends and family, and then we will expand to school-organized events, socializing with other kids going to the same homeschool, meeting more distantly connected people, etc. I’m very thankful that God worked with our Social Worker to make our dreams of how best to help our child work out. It’ll also give some much needed bonding time, as well, which she definitely deserves a lot of.
Anyway, I’ve been in a flurry of preparing the house, going through cabinets to try to change things to what will work for her dietary needs, and wrapping all of the Christmas presents that were waiting in her room, since we were told to not hold out hope for success this year. Plus, a lot of notes to transcribe to put in my other adoption binder, to have on hand in case we need to refer to her history, etc. I’m also painting wood to become shelves for her room and a shoe rack. Might as well utilize my joyful energy. Who would have guessed that I’d get a few extra spoons after talking to my daughter?! On the flip side, I have a lot of time I get distracted by the awe of it all and just sit in prayer or meditation, thankful of these beautiful raindrops of blessings from the big blessing. *soft smile*
In the meantime, I won’t get as much written, but you’re along for the glorious ride and my asking y’all advice for which type of gift is a better option, since most of you are established parents. I’m not above asking for help. *grin* So pamper on, and I wish you the joy of raindrops of blessings until I can next sit down and gather my mind. 🙂