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Worthy, Courageous, and Imperfect

I’ve been thinking a lot about empowerment lately.  My survivor anniversary just passed, I’m learning about ways to empower Kiddo, and am working on becoming more positive about myself so that I’m the best role model that I can be.  While wandering around the grid I found this awesome display set up that I would love to see happen in the real world. 

 

Empowering Bre_006

 

 

 

I’m actually thinking of doing a print out version and putting them around Kiddo’s room or mirrors, as a reminder of her strength and character.  “Gorgeous, imperfect, worthy, resilient, courageous” were my favorite ones.  There were a few others, but I’ve never used words like “exuberant” in my life and don’t plan to start now.  *laugh*  That’s for other personality types and sooooo far from my vocabulary.  Although gorgeous is included, I really love the idea of celebrating beautiful character traits and learning to love those traits, instead of looking in the mirror in hopes that you see the ideal you’ll probably never achieve.  That ideal is sometimes such an unhealthy and crippling goal, and usually tears apart our self esteem.  I think that’s why I really loved this display and had to share it.  

 

 

As of today I plan to initiate the concept, at least for myself.  With the health issues I have absolutely no control over when my thyroid decides to work or not, or if I have an inflammation, or whatever, so I’m going to stop looking in the mirror and tearing myself down.  I’m going to use a dry erase marker on an empty glass picture frame and I’m going to start listing a character trait that I’m proud of or have worked on.  I may still put up a version of the display in Kiddo’s room, or I’ll just make it and have it handy, so that I’m not over-decorating her room (I got zinged on that in our profile because we renovated and made her room move-in-ready.  They’re concerned that Kiddo won’t feel like it’s really hers, since the room is all ready done.  I’m hoping that the updated profile has my addition that we just wanted something neutral ready for her and that she can change it to her heart’s desire.  Makes me nervous to do anything else in her room though, I admit.).  A loved one reminded me that my journey has made me a strong woman, so I think that will be the trait I start with today.  

19 Years

Yesterday we celebrated the nineteenth anniversary of surviving attempted murder and escaping my abuser.

I was raped and had miscarried from his abuse before I turned 19, so it feels really weird to wrap my brain around the time frames. I survived the strangulation, escaped, and started to deal with my trauma while I was 19. And yet I still have him a little power up until the past six months. The part of me that was still holding up my emotional wall became terrified that he would go after our daughter once we adopt, knowing from experience how I feel about motherhood; he witnessed just how effective causing the miscarriage was for devastating me. Thankfully my amazing psychiatrist helped me work through the residual fears while we discussed preventing triggers for me with the adoption. I hadn’t even realized that I was still giving him that tiny bit of power. I always feared him taking away another child.

It’s also hard to believe that nineteen years ago people acted like they didn’t know and didn’t try to help me; they turned a blind eye essentially. Now we are in a culture of “#metoo”. It’s sad to know that some are seeking fame and money, but I’m glad we have finally reached a point that we stopped looking the other way. Domestic violence is finally a cause that we discuss instead of gossiping about behind closed doors.

I hope that surviving and working so hard to help others will also help with our daughter’s trauma. I hope that the next nineteen years will be empowering for all victims and that our society will truly begin to help the portions of our population that in general have been neglected for far too long. I dream that before my daughter’s own nineteenth anniversary of surviving her traumas we learn to help our veterans, the elderly, victimized people, and especially our children.

One last note that I hope helps. I learned from a close friend this anniversary that most people don’t know how to handle hearing about survivor anniversaries. Thankfully she told me that she didn’t know how to react, which was so enlightening and encouraging. Celebrate with the survivor and cheer their strength for coming so far. They trusted you enough to share their accomplishment with you. They’ll even feel heard well enough to share any mixed emotions then, if they have them. But first, please celebrate that they worked hard to become a survivor.

#survivor

Decorating with Fairies

As a child I was always encouraged to read (although I don’t know that they meant to read quite so much, so quickly lol) and my grandmother left some books at our house for me.  In with the encyclopedias and natural history books was this tiny book that seemed made for my small hands.  I opened it and fell in love with poetry way back then.  Fairies of the Flowers & Trees, by Cicely Mary Barker, was an old book when I first discovered it.  The “Fairies” series started in 1923 and I believe that the version Grandma had is the one from the ’50s, but as a kid I never looked at that page, so it’s only by looking at lots of old book covers that I found the one I had treasured.

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The fairies frolicked in the plants and simple, yet enchanting, poems were usually on the opposite page.  The book cover was worn and the pages had gone yellow with age, but they still had the power to transform the rest of my life.

 

The concept that a book could be about magical creations from the mind, the style of writing that conveys so much with so few words, and the idea that we should never stop looking for the magic in the world; in the minutiae of every day life, absolutely blew my mind.  I couldn’t wait to get done with schoolwork (I would have been in very early elementary school at that time), because I wanted to lose myself in the world of beautiful creatures and poetry.

 

It is part of why poetry is still so special to me and why I even had the guts to compete in national competitions. To this day I still love most things related to fairies (except fanfic or some of overly cutesy stuff); as a moving away gift my childhood best friend gave me a fairy figurine that graces the shelf in our living room and makes me smile every time I dust her little upturned tip of the nose.  After joining Pinterest I discovered amazing fairy artwork that people hoarded on their boards and it’s no surprise that Pinterest recommended a board about fairy gardens to me when they started to become so popular.

 

I fought it.  I really tried.  I don’t garden, I don’t do outdoors (apparently my blood is ambrosia to mosquitoes), and I seldom have ever done anything “trending”.  I’m the type of girl that’s rolling her eyes over the hype or a year late to the party.  This time something trending hit one of my weak spots and I jumped on the fairy garden wagon.  L was really sweet about it, despite finding it really weird that I suddenly wanted to do something that involves something I hate (gardening/outdoors), and we got a cut saucer style pot, soil, some tiny perennials, and a sweet fairy figurine I found on sale on Amazon.  Then I found a gazebo…another fairy to keep the first from seeming so lonely…a dragon…decorative glass rocks for paths or to fill in the spots where the perennials weren’t growing…and on.  Within a month or two even L realized this wasn’t going to be one of my “projects” that I try for awhile and then lose interest once I’ve learned everything about it.

 

We ended up getting a plastic stacking strawberry pot that is three levels high, has batting inside each level for the base with model train grass and aquarium gravel over that.  Fake seasonal plants and flowers fill at least most of the bottom level, so the mosquitoes have less opportunities to give me massive welts.  One of my best friends gave me a little fairy doorway at Christmas, just before the garden wagon started rolling.  It started out as an entrance into some of my hardbacks that I can’t bring myself to part with.  It quickly took up residence in one of the strawberry plant “nooks” as an entrance to the magical center that is enchanted, so humans just see normal stuff there.  (Yep, I know I sound bonkers, but it IS a post about fairies, so what did you really expect?)  The dragon took up residence in another nook on the middle level, then she soon started guarding these cute little eggs, and some metal “ribbon” (seriously?!  How is metal even in that class?) caged Mama Dragon and the eggs in, with a beware sign that I really need to add some burn marks to soon…Anyway…At Christmas I got L a fire hydrant socket cover in honor of his being a fire fighter (and I need to figure out something to honor his EMT certification; I’m so proud of his EMS work!).  Me being me didn’t even notice that the hydrant cover has the holes in the wrong places for any of our sockets, so it became the second doorway (although it had fallen down and I didn’t realize it until I was uploading the pictures for this post, so it’s the slab that laying across things in one of the nooks in a picture.  *laugh* The top is for the girls and the gazebo, plus rocks L brought back from the Scouts’ trip to Mount Rushmore, and a few little wood slices that I experimented on that became name plates instead.

 

So that’s the basics.  For most holidays the girls get a renovation with seasonal decorations.  During Fall they had red and burnt orange leaves (fake), acorns, tiny pumpkins, and dark flowers with fake spiders crawling about.  At Christmas they had felt snow, a battery operated fire, a snowman, etc.  For St. Patrick’s (since that’s a favorite holiday for me due to loving my Celtic heritage), glitter edged green carnations, fake gold coins, and such decorated their home.  Now that Easter has passed it’s time to take the glittery eggs out of the scene and change things up.  I’m stumped though.  I think because my mind is constantly going back to thoughts about our adoption paperwork and such, I have no inspiration.  I found some miniature ducks on my old desk (a few being the ones I used for the “Splish Splash” duck soaps I made a few years back, for the long time readers), so I thought I might start a little section with them.  I’m just meh right now though, so I’m bringing it to you readers.  If you have any ideas I would greatly appreciate them!  I have to be budget conscious, otherwise this wouldn’t be an issue because they’d have an incredible tree house *grin*, and as you can tell once you look at the pictures, the planter is big, but there’s actually little space to decorate in.  I’ll probably take out half of the flowers to open up some additional space, but do you have any ideas for some spring decorating for the ladies?  The odd combo of St. Patrick’s and Easter really needs to go.  *lauhg*  I’ve used my product photo shoot props a few times, but I’m not into the idea of army men scaling the planter or strings of beads being draped across things, which leaves my creativity vault empty.  So I’m begging you to look at the following pictures and drop a comment or two on any ideas you have on how to decorate this season (note: names and pictures in the background have been blurred, so that’s why some spots look weird).  I tried to get several sides and a few angles, but it pretty much just came out looking like a weird hodge podge of pictures.  *grin* The fairies, and I, appreciate your help and look forward to making a new enchanting scene that makes visitors smile when they see it as they enter the living room.  🙂

 

 

No Recipes for a Bit

I wanted to make a short post to let the followers who are interested in the recipe posts by Leah that life is requiring her full attention, so there won’t be any recipes for a little bit.  Rest assured that recipes will be coming soon; they just won’t be every other day and some will be a little less adventurous.  🙂  Thank you, in advance, for your understanding and patience!

A Quick Quote

I (Georgia) know it’s Leah’s post day, but wanted to share a quote from Dr. Perry’s Make It Ultra site. It really speaks to me during our adoption journey, but is inspirational for everyone, so I wanted to share it.

It’s hard sometimes to keep the faith and belief in yourself, especially when your dreams feel so difficult to achieve. I saved this as a favorite picture from my camera roll, so that I have quick access for that extra inspiration I need when my resolve begins to slip a bit.

There are some really great inspirational and educational posts on his site, so I hope you will check out some more of his posts on Make It Ultra (and no, I get nothing for this recommendation, other than feeling good about sharing something uplifting).

Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

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May your troubles be less and your blessings be more.  And nothing but happiness come through your door. – Author unknown

 

Balsamic Peach Salad Recipe by Leah

Balsamic Peach Salad

 

Those aren’t marshmallows.  As each person came to the table I had to answer the same question. “Why are marshmallows on the salad?”  They’re not marshmallows, they’re mozzarella balls!  I have to admit though; they do look like marshmallows.

 

Marshmallows aside, there is a lot of good stuff in this salad.  This recipe comes from the blog Half Baked Harvest.  She is the queen of salads and bowls, and as salads make a frequent appearance in our home I find myself seeking inspiration from her often.

 

I wanted to share this one with you because while delicious it’s one of the few that I’ve made changes to.  I felt for our family it’s better suited to some simplifications.  For the original recipe check out her blog.

 

Balsamic Peach Basil Chicken Salad with Crispy Prosciutto

 

Yield: 6 servings

 

INGREDIENTS

salad

4 ripe peaches, quartered

1/2 cup balsamic vinegar

1 Tbsp honey

2 boneless, skinless chicken breasts (about 1 pound)

3 oz thinly sliced prosciutto

1 Tbsp olive oil

2 Tbsp freshly chopped basil

1 tsp dried oregano

kosher salt and freshly cracked pepper

8 cups baby spinach and romaine

1 cup cherry tomatoes, halved

6 oz fresh mozzarella or burrata cheese, torn (I used mozzarella balls because I already had them on hand)

1/3 cup pepitas (roasted pumpkin seeds)

balsamic vinaigrette

1/4 cup olive oil

1/4 cup balsamic vinegar

2 Tbsp fresh chopped basil

2 tsp dijon mustard

kosher salt and freshly ground pepper

 

PREPARATION

salad

  1. Add peaches to a bowl and toss with balsamic vinegar and honey.
  2. In a separate bowl add the chicken, olive oil, basil, oregano, salt and pepper.
  3. Preheat your grill* to medium high and brush the grates with oil.
  4. Remove the peaches from the balsamic mix and grill for 2-3 minutes or until ight char marks appear, flip and grill another 2-3 minutes.  Remove from the grill and reserve any remaining balsamic mix for the vinaigrette.
  5. To the grill add the chicken and prosciutto to grill for 5-8 minutes per side or until the chicken is cooked through and the prosciutto is crisp.  Remove from the grill and let rest 5-10 minutes.  Thinly slice the chicken and crumble the prosciutto.
  6. In a large salad bowl, combine the spinach, romaine and tomatoes.  Top with grilled peaches, chicken, mozzarella, and pepitos.  Serve alongside the balsamic vinaigrette.

balsamic vinaigrette

Grab any remaining balsamic mix from when you tossed it with the peaches.  To that add the olive oil, 1/4 cup balsamic vinegar, basil, mustard, salt and pepper.  Taste, and adjust seasonings to your liking.

 

*Or roast chicken and peaches about 25 minutes on a sheetpan at 400 degrees F.  Add prosciutto during the last 5 minutes of cooking.

 

 

If you look closely you’ll notice that there are some things in the picture that aren’t listed in the recipe.  A few of the changes I made after having taken the picture.  I have made the salad since then, but foolishly forgot to take another picture.  Besides, I couldn’t miss the opportunity to trick someone else into thinking I put marshmallows in a salad. ☺

 

Leah Recipe Logo

Quick Note

Hey there! It was brought to my attention that the blog posts aren’t showing the logos on social media unless you click the link to read more, so I just wanted to send out that almost all recipes on the blog are by one of my new guest bloggers, Leah. I have two now, since most of what’s going on in my life can’t be written about yet. I’ll try to remember to have them put their names in the title or at the start. Thank you for the heads up that the logos aren’t showing and sorry about the confusion! — Georgia 🙂

Words

Have you ever stopped and realized the power of simple letters made into words?  Words can whisk you away on an adventure of fantasy, mystery, or romance.  They can tear a heart apart or make it soar with love and joy.  Words can make you dance, become your anthem during a breakup, or be the first song you dance to with your spouse at your wedding reception.

 

Words can bring a community together or tear it apart; unite a nation or start a war.  They can even be a call to action, to help your fellow man.

 

They can introduce you to your first child, be your final goodbye to a loved one, or forge a deep friendship.

 

Words have the power to endure long after we have passed away and they create these characters and worlds that we actually invest our lives in; we care about them and their journeys, their loves and losses, and lose ourselves in the magic of a mystical land that we would never have gone to otherwise.  They empower us to solve mysteries, to battle foes in harsh environments, and learn the lessons that our faith has for us.

 

Storytellers, authors, and scribes have kept history intact for future generations; to learn from, to feel a bond with those that came before you, to keep hope and joy in our hearts forever.

 

When you turn on your favorite television show, open a new book, or listen to someone’s podcast, I hope you take a moment to just be amazed at how simple letters fill your life.  And I hope that you realize how much value your words have; you have such power to impact other lives.

 

I thank you for inspiring me and the guest bloggers.

I’ll Be Right Back

I wasn’t able to fulfill the month of posting each day, but that’s because I caught that really, really horrible flu that’s going around.  (At least I completed my resolution to develop the habit, though!)  Between the sore throat, wracking cough, fatigue, weirder sleep habits than usual, and headaches that get awfully close to migraine status, I am pretty worthless right now.  I’m amazed I was able to get the computer rig going and work on my site for a bit and then schedule the upcoming blog posts.  I’ll be back in a few days hopefully, but in the meantime Leah is going to step in and share some recipes with you.  Her meals look a lot better than the vegetable soup diet that I can occasionally eat right now!  I’m jealous if you get to try one of them out right away! *grin* 

 

The silver lining is that there has been a small delay in our adoption process, so I’m able to just focus on getting through this and better, without trying to get better in time for a meeting or the extreme guilt of having to postpone meeting our potential daughter.  That would seriously devastate me, so I’m counting my blessing for one of those “unanswered prayers”.  

 

While I’m down and out I am able to read a bit, so I’ve been making a tiny dent in my huge TBR library.  I started “Plague” by Judy Mikovits, PHD and Kent Heckenlively.  It is “One Scientist’s Intrepid Search for the Truth about Human Retroviruses and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Autism, and Other Diseases”.  Yep, I have text books in my TBR library; are you really surprised by that?  *laugh* The Amazon synopsis is way better than what I can come up with in my cold medicine haze, so here goes…

“On July 22, 2009, a special meeting was held with twenty-four leading scientists at the National Institutes of Health to discuss early findings that a newly discovered retrovirus was linked to chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS), prostate cancer, lymphoma, and eventually neurodevelopmental disorders in children. When Dr. Judy Mikovits finished her presentation the room was silent for a moment, then one of the scientists said, “Oh my God!” The resulting investigation would be like no other in science.

For Dr. Mikovits, a twenty-year veteran of the National Cancer Institute, this was the midpoint of a five-year journey that would start with the founding of the Whittemore-Peterson Institute for Neuro-Immune Disease at the University of Nevada, Reno, and end with her as a witness for the federal government against her former employer, Harvey Whittemore, for illegal campaign contributions to Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid.

On this journey Dr. Mikovits would face the scientific prejudices against CFS, wander into the minefield that is autism, and through it all struggle to maintain her faith in God and the profession to which she had dedicated her life. This is a story for anybody interested in the peril and promise of science at the very highest levels in our country.”

 

I can’t wait to get further into it when I’m not as brain dead, although I’m a bit scared to maybe find out that there is a reason why I have my illnesses, and why I became disabled so early (when factoring in the trauma that triggered the system response).  The possibility of an “oops” would be very hard to process without a lot of anger and I’m finally doing so much better at accepting my disabilities.  Just like the scene of an accident though, I can’t help but look, or read in this instance.  To maybe finally have the “why me” answered is one question that therapy and emotional trauma forms cannot work through.  

 

Anyway, enjoy the recipes (isn’t she an amazing cook?!) and stay healthy!!  I’ll be pampering myself by going for the lotion infused tissues.  😉