Well, this week was an incredibly hard week for me to get through. We got notified that the Conference Call for our favorite adoptee would happen on Thursday and got the extended profile on her, as well. I was honestly terrified. After all of this waiting, they could straight up say they don’t think we’re a good match and end it all within a few breaths; or that something would come up about her that would mean we don’t have the strengths to meet her needs. It could have all been over so suddenly.
Thankfully it turned out to go incredibly, in our opinion, despite some trouble hearing at times with several people all on the line. Our new SW had given me nudges in the right direction to research, which actually made us even more likable for a choice for this young lady. Her team talked a lot about her history, what traumas and risks she has, her needs, and their own interactions with her. All of my questions were answered with extremely positive and reassuring responses, and at the end I was able to look at L and know that we 100% wanted to proceed to BIS. We were all ready geared up to advocate for her, because she’s had so few that did that for her, that there wasn’t a doubt that she is still number 1 to us.
It takes several weeks to a couple months in order to get the BIS conference call, where all of the teams and legal sit in on a call and go through the candidates, and then they decide which family can best meet the young lady’s needs. If that goes well, then the head CW for her will sit down with her and our scrapbook, go over the book and our profile with her, and even give impressions from the conference call. And then she gets to decide if we appeal enough to her to agree to meet. So in a couple of months we may have one of the most terrifying meetings of our lives. Finding out which future an 11 year old (by then 12) holds for us. If the meeting goes well, we get to start visitations and work toward overnight visitations, to make sure we all fit together despite the awkwardness of the newness of the arrangement. And then they all get to decide if we get to become her legal custodians, which then means moving her, getting her enrolled in the home school, getting her a wardrobe and all those little things, and all that organizing stuff. Holy smokes…!
Although it’s probably too fast to come true, there’s a slight chance we’ll get to have visitation with her for Christmas, if she decides she likes us, and that would be all of my dreams, Christmas wishes, and prayers all wrapped into one. And in a way it’s terrifying beyond belief. All of those “will I be a good enough mom to actually help her reach her potential”, “will she ever truly know that she’s loved”, and such scrolls around the ground of my mind like a snake, winding between the hamster cages and making them go even crazier with thoughts. *grin* So many people have our future in their hands, and although it seemed super positive, even if she chose to give us a try, she has six months to decide if we are really the family for her. Having a new person in our home that we will have done so much for, who still holds such a valuable part of us in her hands, is such a scary thought.
Despite the fears, the call was the best we could have ever hoped for, without a single concern about us when I asked, so we were truly blessed there. We’re blessed that we have an awesome Social Worker that’s actually advocating for us and grooming us to be the best match that we can be for the tween we want to adopt. And through it all we’re blessed to be going down a new path together that brings us closer together and even helps us learn a lot more about each other that we would never have thought to discuss without adoptive parenthood at stake. Although at times it’s like we’re on two separate planets when it comes to this process, we’re learning how to work together to achieve goals, despite our different styles and desired time lines, which is something we have always struggled with. The situation has forced our weaknesses to be addressed and to work through them. Although I was burned out for a couple days following the call and additional paperwork that was done immediately following to prepare for the BIS, I’m back to a more mild version of my craziness *laugh* and now just have several months to try and distract myself. Anybody want to come help makes some products or install things so that I can nest while I wait? *grin*
After all this time we have made it to a BIS. I honestly started to doubt it would ever happen. And if things go in our favor, I don’t think I could be more excited to have her complete our forever family. She’s a unique person with a variety of interests. Those are such beautiful personality traits. So, if you feel inclined, a prayer that this works out would be appreciated, and if you really feel all squishy-hearted, a prayer that I get to have my first Christmas as a mom happen this year would be a massive blessing. I’m so ready to Santa up a big stocking for her. 😀