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Monthly Archives: February 2018

Fibro Insight

I had a required physical (ironic, but required to get my meds, even though I was just there two months ago for a regular visit). Anyway, the prodding and such caused a nice little flare, and as I sat reading emails one came in from a Fibro newsletter I get. They decided to do a post of Spoonies sharing pictures during symptom flares or how they cope with the visible symptoms. Yet somehow some people still don’t believe it’s a real condition and that there’s a community that really needs help. This is a group that have massively high suicidal ideation and risk rates. So I thought I’d share more information about it that might help others understand it a bit better or have a resource to share if they’re a Spoonie and trying to find examples to help people see behind the mask.

The Mighty post has a lot of examples of the visible symptoms that we tend to hide. They have tons of resources on their site and their newsletters are always comforting, in a way, because sufferers know that someone believes them and that it’s okay to not wear the “I’m okay” mask that we try to keep in place all of the time. Unfortunately I don’t have the umph to get on my computer, so the link will change the page directly to their site, instead of this post, so please remember to come back for the rest. 🙂

There is also an interesting study here that was done a few years ago in two countries, and then another country later, with a control population, chronic low back pain, and Fibro sufferers, that studied the rates of ideation and risk, with Fibro being sadly very high.

So, if you have a friend or loved one who suffers, hopefully these will help you understand what they’re going through and trying to hide from the world. I hope it not only raises awareness, but also more compassion. One of the most hurtful conversations that are surely meant to be helpful is that “my friend’s sister’s cousin had that and got better by…”. Sometimes, if you’re lucky, the illness and symptoms go into remission. Other times you relapse and that might become your new normal. That seemingly uplifting comment undermines their work of having a healthy mindset for coping and increases that ideation risk, because they feel so alone and misunderstood. If you feel like reading a bit more about awareness, I have a section dedicated to that on my Pinterest Fibromyalgia board (the side bar link takes you to my profile and I keep things pretty organized, so it’ll be easy to find a lot of pins to help others understand Spoonies better).

Thank you for helping me be strong enough to remove my “I’m okay” mask sometimes and helping me raise awareness. It is truly empowering and that’s one of my key habits to develop for this year. Y’all are awesome! 😀

Kiddo’s Room

I realized that I never shared any pics of the renovation from storage and cat box room into Kiddo’s room, so here goes! I’ve noticed that the formatting when I blog via my app is rather smashed together no matter how much of a gap I leave between paragraphs or pictures, so I apologize now, because the pics are on my phone and that means I’m blogging on the app again. Now that I know about the issue I promise to try to utilize the other version as often as possible. On to the good stuff now!

This is when you first step into the doorway. It’s kind of an odd shaped room, due to the back to back closets between her room and ours. This first bookcase will be shared (since I lost my space when I organized all of the tools and such into my office so it would all be in one place). Since the picture was taken I filled the bookcase with cookbooks, my favorite educational books, and the small group of physical fictional books that I just couldn’t give up. The bookcase against her back wall will probably get moved out soon, so that we can actually put my old office desk there (modified to fit, but it’ll still be heavy duty desk). I’ve been looking up design plans for shelving above the desk and her tv will go on the desk, too.

This is taken from the back wall bookcase facing the entry where the other pic was taken from. We decided to swap the closet door for curtains that she can tie back. It gives more accessibility when going between the closet and the room, since the door would pretty much close off the back half of the room. *laugh* What you can’t see is the long cherry wood dresser on the short wall beside the closet with a mirror running the full length. There is also a quilt rack from my mom at the end of Kiddo’s brand new bed on the frame that’s been passed down to Larry. The bed sits so hi I need a small stool to get enough boost to not look like a little kid trying to climb up. *grin*

Look how tall that sits!! *laugh* That bed and bedding is more luxurious than any hotel I’ve ever been in, let alone owned! We want her to feel and see the care we put into her room. It’s the nicest room in our house. *grin* Come Spring we will sand and stain all of the wood to match the cherry, so it’ll be even more incredible then. And after painting the room three times (nope, don’t want to talk about it, just know that we learned a whole lot about what not to buy and use for painting!), Kiddo is welcome to swap out the cream walls and pink cocoa trim, and make it all her own. I’ll be happy to keep her company or give tips, but I am not painting that room myself ever again!!

Abby is absolutely obsessed with “Sister’s” room and races to the door anytime a person gets near it. *laugh* She loves to attack the little tucks in the comforter, watch me hang decorations like the print out I framed, and watches out the lace curtains sometimes, unless nap time hits and then she is snoring up near the pillows.

On her dresser is a makeup organizer, storage containers, the most meaningful quote that I framed, and then two projects I did for her. I spent a long time making her the year long jar. Each topic is color coded, so she can easily grab the right one to read for whatever she’s feeling. I even used different scissor borders for each type. (Yeah, I went a bit overboard, but when don’t I when it comes to Kiddo, really? *grin*) I also made the small Anti-Depressant Kit, which I found on Pinterest and thought it would be perfect. One with those sentiments would have really helped while I was mired in working through my traumas, so I’m hoping Kiddo will find some peace from it, and know that she is loved. There is also a basket on the dresser with gift cards we received to help get whatever she needs and help her learn to budget her money, if that was never taught. I also put a collage of the Shower in the mirror edge.

The basket on the bed is now divided up between a lot of gift bags and almost everything is hidden in her closet now. Our social worker pointed out that it might be overwhelming to come for the first overnight visitation and have so many things to go through. I read that sometimes they’ll also expect to be showered in gifts if visitation starts that way, and I also read some grown adoptees had a hard time as kids when they came into the home and were all ready overwhelmed by the new surroundings, being around the new parents in the new home, and then they felt that they had to put on this performance of excitement despite needing a little time to process everything else. And they were afraid to voice that because they might get sent back. Reading their journeys and tips has been so helpful, but I’ve shed many a tear for how much fear and sadness even the happiest adopted child hides. Anyway, that helped curb some of my shopping for her until we actually get to know her, plus it means I get to throw a Placement Party for her (how big it is will totally be up to Kiddo, since she might prefer just her new “family” for a bit). No matter the size of the party, she will pretty much have a Christmas sized haul that day. *laugh* If ever there is doubt before that day, this should show her how much we care – it’s hard to believe, but I got several cheesy, lovey items that are so uncharacteristic of me. *grin*

We still don’t know when we will get to read the other half of her profile, let alone when we will meet her, but at least everyone in this process knows that we are ready to make our family complete. Her room is waiting for her and so are we. Sometimes I sit on the stool in Kiddo’s room and it helps me remember why we have continued this difficult journey. It may be hard to be on God’s timeline instead of my desired immediate timeline, but it’s all been worth it. Every person deserves a home and a family, no matter how old they are.