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Kiddo’s Room

Posted on February 1, 2018 by Georgia's Pampering

I realized that I never shared any pics of the renovation from storage and cat box room into Kiddo’s room, so here goes! I’ve noticed that the formatting when I blog via my app is rather smashed together no matter how much of a gap I leave between paragraphs or pictures, so I apologize now, because the pics are on my phone and that means I’m blogging on the app again. Now that I know about the issue I promise to try to utilize the other version as often as possible. On to the good stuff now!

This is when you first step into the doorway. It’s kind of an odd shaped room, due to the back to back closets between her room and ours. This first bookcase will be shared (since I lost my space when I organized all of the tools and such into my office so it would all be in one place). Since the picture was taken I filled the bookcase with cookbooks, my favorite educational books, and the small group of physical fictional books that I just couldn’t give up. The bookcase against her back wall will probably get moved out soon, so that we can actually put my old office desk there (modified to fit, but it’ll still be heavy duty desk). I’ve been looking up design plans for shelving above the desk and her tv will go on the desk, too.

This is taken from the back wall bookcase facing the entry where the other pic was taken from. We decided to swap the closet door for curtains that she can tie back. It gives more accessibility when going between the closet and the room, since the door would pretty much close off the back half of the room. *laugh* What you can’t see is the long cherry wood dresser on the short wall beside the closet with a mirror running the full length. There is also a quilt rack from my mom at the end of Kiddo’s brand new bed on the frame that’s been passed down to Larry. The bed sits so hi I need a small stool to get enough boost to not look like a little kid trying to climb up. *grin*

Look how tall that sits!! *laugh* That bed and bedding is more luxurious than any hotel I’ve ever been in, let alone owned! We want her to feel and see the care we put into her room. It’s the nicest room in our house. *grin* Come Spring we will sand and stain all of the wood to match the cherry, so it’ll be even more incredible then. And after painting the room three times (nope, don’t want to talk about it, just know that we learned a whole lot about what not to buy and use for painting!), Kiddo is welcome to swap out the cream walls and pink cocoa trim, and make it all her own. I’ll be happy to keep her company or give tips, but I am not painting that room myself ever again!!

Abby is absolutely obsessed with “Sister’s” room and races to the door anytime a person gets near it. *laugh* She loves to attack the little tucks in the comforter, watch me hang decorations like the print out I framed, and watches out the lace curtains sometimes, unless nap time hits and then she is snoring up near the pillows.

On her dresser is a makeup organizer, storage containers, the most meaningful quote that I framed, and then two projects I did for her. I spent a long time making her the year long jar. Each topic is color coded, so she can easily grab the right one to read for whatever she’s feeling. I even used different scissor borders for each type. (Yeah, I went a bit overboard, but when don’t I when it comes to Kiddo, really? *grin*) I also made the small Anti-Depressant Kit, which I found on Pinterest and thought it would be perfect. One with those sentiments would have really helped while I was mired in working through my traumas, so I’m hoping Kiddo will find some peace from it, and know that she is loved. There is also a basket on the dresser with gift cards we received to help get whatever she needs and help her learn to budget her money, if that was never taught. I also put a collage of the Shower in the mirror edge.

The basket on the bed is now divided up between a lot of gift bags and almost everything is hidden in her closet now. Our social worker pointed out that it might be overwhelming to come for the first overnight visitation and have so many things to go through. I read that sometimes they’ll also expect to be showered in gifts if visitation starts that way, and I also read some grown adoptees had a hard time as kids when they came into the home and were all ready overwhelmed by the new surroundings, being around the new parents in the new home, and then they felt that they had to put on this performance of excitement despite needing a little time to process everything else. And they were afraid to voice that because they might get sent back. Reading their journeys and tips has been so helpful, but I’ve shed many a tear for how much fear and sadness even the happiest adopted child hides. Anyway, that helped curb some of my shopping for her until we actually get to know her, plus it means I get to throw a Placement Party for her (how big it is will totally be up to Kiddo, since she might prefer just her new “family” for a bit). No matter the size of the party, she will pretty much have a Christmas sized haul that day. *laugh* If ever there is doubt before that day, this should show her how much we care – it’s hard to believe, but I got several cheesy, lovey items that are so uncharacteristic of me. *grin*

We still don’t know when we will get to read the other half of her profile, let alone when we will meet her, but at least everyone in this process knows that we are ready to make our family complete. Her room is waiting for her and so are we. Sometimes I sit on the stool in Kiddo’s room and it helps me remember why we have continued this difficult journey. It may be hard to be on God’s timeline instead of my desired immediate timeline, but it’s all been worth it. Every person deserves a home and a family, no matter how old they are.

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We Made a Little Progress

Posted on January 22, 2018 by Georgia's Pampering

The wait during the adoption process is killer.  I’m going to be very straightforward about that and I’ve had a really hard time handling it, especially with the take control kind of personality I developed.  I have a sincere belief that the only reason I survived some of my struggles is because God was preparing me for this journey.  I went through different traumas to prepare me to help my girl through hers.  

 

Now, please bear with me since this is going to take me a while to write, because I’m not good about being this vulnerable.  We still haven’t gotten far, but it turns out that it has taken longer than expected because there was a massive computer issue that caused problems on our profile and it snowballed.  However, the silver lining is what matters.  As the wait continued we began to worry that we had been rejected for some reason and it finally got to the point that I was absolutely terrified of it deep down, although I kept trying to hold onto that hope.  When they contacted us about the computer issue and what things they needed, etc., our case worker officially said that we are in the process.  There’s a lot more ahead, but finally some confirmation and now we wait for the next step.  From there we use my training and God’s direction, and we will get our missing piece.  I will be a mom.  I hoped, I dreamed, and I tried to prepare in every way I could come up with during that down time, but I was still so scared underneath.  I’ve gotten used to wearing a mask because of my Fibro; “It’s my mission to get through everyday doing the best that I can.  When you say I look ‘perfectly fine’, I know I am succeeding!  I have years of experience with this now…and because you do not see the pain that I am in, I know that I am accomplishing my best.  So, thank you!” (Fibro Affirmations, specific author unknown.)  Since I’m so used to my Fibro mask, it wasn’t so hard to put on my “It just takes time” face, apparently.  And I tried to mask it inside so that I wasn’t so aware of my fear, so that I could keep pushing and preparing.  Now my second mask can come off and I can have full faith that I get to be “mama bear”.  *grin* Who knows how much longer it’ll still take to get to that next step, but it’s in writing.  We’re going to get there.  We’re going to be parents.

 

While I was desperately trying to cling to hope and belief, L gave me the most beautiful Christmas gift to keep me going during such a hard time.  He flew my best friend since childhood from California to host a Motherhood Shower for me.  (A Motherhood Shower is like a Baby Shower, but they’re celebrating that rite of passage into motherhood that most adoptive mothers never get.  People celebrate, give gifts, encouragement, and advice with a biological child.  Or even with people that adopt babies.  The age shouldn’t matter; this is still my first daughter and will always be my first child, no matter if we adopt another or not.  I will be her mother for the rest of our lives, through the good and the bad, no matter what.)

 

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I cropped out the details and names, but that was the theme and those were my colors.  1800 miles and we were able to do a bang up job of coordinating a neat little Shower, and it was truly a celebration of my journey into Motherhood.  Best of all, getting to be with her for several days after nearly fourteen years without face to face contact, gave me such faith and hope.  Not just in the adoption either, but in being strong through the struggles with my Fibro progression, my fear of failing Kiddo because of my illness, and so many more things that are so vulnerable that I’ve only ever talked with her about them.  Some of them I never admitted to anyone else and worked through them with her help, and will never discuss them again unless my daughter needs to hear what I went through and how I got through all of it.  

 

Back to the Shower now that I have cleared that annoying water that was pooling in my eyes (nope, I wasn’t crying.  I don’t cry.  Nope.  I’m just going to keep saying that until I believe I’m just that tough. lol).  I used to think I lost a lot of friends due to Fibro, but what really happened was that I learned who my true friends are, and some of those special people are family for us and will be for Kiddo.  They’re the family we chose, so right from the get go Kiddo knows it’s not about the genes for us.  It’s about love and friendship.  And a small group of our family and friends came to my Shower.  It really couldn’t have been better, other than having more time for some (I picked a day that had a bunch of stuff going on that I didn’t know about, which made it extra hard for some to attend the Shower, and made it extra special that they did).  We went all out with pink and black, and glitter, oh my!  *happy sigh* It was a slow prep process, but it really helped keep me working on the adoption in some way, which kept that flame of hope alive.  As the invite says it was a cocoa buffet, so we had the most decadent and delicious hot cocoa (I’ll share the recipe later), with tons of mix-ins, and a few snacks, plus my mom got me the most perfect cake shaped like a puzzle piece, since our theme has been that we’ve been looking for our missing puzzle piece. 

 

Sorry, had to take a pause and look at the ceiling.  Might have been a cobweb to watch for.  Not because I was teary eyed or anything, so stop thinking that!  It was all so perfect for me.  Intimate, loving, an amazing host that kept the pressure off of me, the encouragement, the games, and the most beautiful tradition of sending our hopes for Kiddo and my motherhood journey out into the world.  It wouldn’t have been quite so perfect without L’s gift.  Not just because she’s the best coordinator and host in the world, hands down, but because she’s a huge part of this adoption.  When I was faltering in my faith due to another set of struggles there was no judgement, just love, compassion, and help.  And that, plus the little bits of the Shower that we have up as reminders, helped me get through until we got the official confirmation that we will adopt.  We. Will. Adopt.  I just needed those reminders of His handiwork while preparing us for this new chapter in our lives.  And next, a few pictures of our little set up…

 

 

As you can see, even Skully got in on the party, although I’m sure he wasn’t too thrilled to be in a frilly women’s masquerade mask, but he’s been dressed up in different things all year long for years, so I couldn’t leave him out.  And all of those little hand painted puzzle pieces that were used as table scatter…my friend had the most brilliant idea of filling an empty candle tumbler with them, so they’re right by the tv and a constant reminder of our beautiful puzzle piece that we will get to meet someday.  And next is the cake, now that my eyes aren’t so itchy.  *grin*

 

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I had to keep the party very intimate, so if you weren’t invited, it isn’t that you were snubbed, please believe me.  We weren’t sure until a few weeks before that the Shower would get to actually take place and all venues were booked by then, so it had to be a tiny crowd that could fit in our cozy little living room.  And this wasn’t the official Adoption party that everyone will be invited to.  This was for me, my journey, and how best to help my daughter when we start out.  If Kiddo agrees to an Adoption party, believe me, there will be a total loss of control and I’m going to go hog wild with a big ole party to celebrate her!!  

 

Anyway, we’re so blessed and thankful to finally get to say that it’s confirmed that we will get to adopt.  We still don’t have details on the delightful young lady, although daily it bewilders me how I can love someone so deeply without having met them or even know their name, or how I feel like the love continues to grow.  It just took me a while to work up the courage to talk about something so dear to me and to admit to my stumbles to get to this point.  My Faith isn’t something that I take lightly, so it was hard to admit that I questioned it to a degree, as things kept dragging along without any word.  My hope is that this admission will help take the burden of guilt off of another future “mama bear” (you better believe after all of this work, waiting, and Faith, I will love and protect my girl so fiercely that I’ll earn that nickname, as will any other Adopting mom! *grin*).  If you’re reading this and going through the waiting phase with your adoption, reach out to me.  I’ll wait with you.  Anyone going through adoption needs a lot of support and sometimes we find it in new, unexpected places, like a tiny blog about a weird nerd and her bath and body craft.  🙂

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Fighting for Her

Posted on January 21, 2018 by Georgia's Pampering

I plan to give a little update on our adoption, but am working up the nerve to discuss such an emotional subject, so I’m taking my first step with this incredible picture list that has been such an encouragement during this process.

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It’s Been Awhile

Posted on November 14, 2017 by Georgia's Pampering

To start, I’m really sorry that I promised to try to get back to writing and then dropped off the face of WordPress. I really do try to keep my word, which is why I often don’t give it (knowing that my illness often ruins any plans). I’ve honestly just been in a bad place mentally and physically.

I’ve had some continued complications from the surgery back in March, which is probably partially just my Fibro finding a new place to cause havoc. I’ve also had a sinus infection for probably four months of this year, now. Three antibiotics and one round of steroids later, I am getting a brain and head CT within a few weeks just to make sure it’s all really been a sinus infection that just doesn’t want to give up. That’s a nice little thought piece to try to avoid thinking about, especially after working for a neurologist and being the voracious learner that I am. Yeah, I look forward to getting past that little test and just getting the results.

What’s really been hard is that the adoption has taken so much longer than we ever expected. There is no light in sight yet, although according to everything I read, we’re past the worst case timing scenario and should at least be in visitation, if not placement. One child we were interested in has been adopted, another has aged too far, and now we’re waiting to see what goes wrong with the young lady that we are really hoping for. This process has taken quite an emotional toll, and although it’s been an incredible learning process and we are beyond excited to get to be parents for any period of time, it’s getting harder to hold onto that bright hope. It almost hurts to go into her room and realize it’ll be around a year probably since we started work on it before she even walks into it.

For me the worst has been that we don’t have her in our lives for Christmas. Growing up with rotating holiday visitations and different family get togethers according to who has what days made me always dream of when I’d have my own tiny family unit that can have our own traditions, stay cozy and full of cheer together Christmas Eve and Christmas morning, and spoil the living daylights out of our child with surprises and loving tokens. I’ve longed for that sense of closeness, completeness, and absolute belonging. I know that sounds odd, but I’ve never really felt that I fully fit in anywhere and was always being told I had to go somewhere, or feeling obligated to do something else, or whatever. I’m loved and I belong with certain people, don’t get me wrong, but I’ve looked forward to when I’d have my little family and my own little place I’m meant to be. When I was in junior high I told my best friend that the only goal I’d hold myself to was that I wanted my own family; a husband and at least one child. For me, that’s where my life was always supposed to lead, even if I became a war correspondent, a meteorologist, creative writing teacher, or newspaper writer. I was meant to have my own family and they would be my home. When I had the dream of finally having that family Christmas as I came out of my anesthesia from surgery in March, I was filled with such peace and joy that all that I’ve been through still led me to what I felt was my meaning of life.

I know we will still have that, but it’s hard to let go of that dream, and even harder to believe that it’s taken almost the whole year all ready to try and even meet a child in need. It’s mind boggling and makes my heart hurt. Especially wondering if our daughter’s foster family loves her and is going to try to make Christmas special for her, or is she going to be looking at Christmas lights at night and wondering why no one wants her. It’s hard to let go of the conviction I had that we would have her and make this the Christmas that she felt so wanted and loved, that she would never doubt how much happiness and love she has (will, now) give us, despite the hard journeys behind and ahead of all of us.

Since these haven’t been the most uplifting of topics, and so incredibly raw, I withdrew and tried to distract myself, which left me not writing and I’ve actually missed it. I haven’t been physically capable, but at least I have a few ideas for my business in the meantime! So let’s end with some happy notes on that topic! 🙂

First, I want to make “Grandma’s Roadkill Pie Soap”. Yep, I’m still morbid, but I think this should be great. Instead of trying to do the bacon slices that turned out so badly last year, I’m going to do the Maple Bacon FO in pie slice form, with little soap chunks that are either scent free or have a complimentary note. I considered Apple Spice, like one of those pork pies, you know? Or maybe Summer Ale FO, since citrusy notes go so well with pork. Since I have some scent creation strips now (I put dabs of FOs on them and can create my own scent instead of actually having to waste MLs on bad combos), I look forward to trying some different options. Next, I really want to send a little customized gift basket to a YouTube channel called “Sharuf”. It’s a fun show with an Irish entertainer and a muppet, plus guests usually. I thought some handmade items from Kansas would be fun to receive in Ireland, plus he gives shout outs on his small channel, and a lot of his followers are ironically American. I might actually get some customers. Lol Lastly, I bought a silicone spoon mold. When I explained the Spoon Theory for Fibro I told how the spoon is now a uniting symbol for Fibro sufferers. I really like the idea of making some soap spoons and even if they never sell, giving them in an informational support basket to a newly diagnosed person would be a beautiful thing. So, those are the current ideas spinning on my hamster wheels for my business, along with still wanting to do a package for Good Mythical Morning. What do you think? Are there any concepts or scent combos that you think I should try?

In the meantime, thank you for sticking with me through my journey, and always being a supportive haven for my creativity and thoughts. Pink glitter for everyone! 😉

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A Big Announcement

Posted on June 27, 2017 by Georgia's Pampering
A Big Announcement

It’s been a few months since I’ve posted and I actually have some really good reasons.  First, I had a really difficult recovery from my surgery.  I swear that I started to think I would never recover and the doctor didn’t do the greatest job with the reconstruction, so I was kind of in a funk mentally for a bit.  Second, we’ve been doing renovations to our house and every time I got a bit done, then I’d be sick or flared for a few days, and kept repeating the cycle for the past few months.  It bites to try and take care of things when you have a chronic illness trying to win the contest over your body.  *grin* Third, is the best reason of all and it includes a TON of paperwork and just plain work…

announcement

We’re adopting!!  It is a LOT harder than we expected and a lot more intrusive of a process, but we are so excited.  We had thought and prayed on it for a few years actually.  As I came out of the anesthesia from my surgery we agreed that without a doubt we had been called to adopt a teenage girl.  I can’t really explain it any better than that.  Part of the reason for the age is due to my health issues.  I simply cannot handle taking care of the physical needs of an infant or energetic young child, sadly.  In a way, it’s for the best though, because teens up for adoption are so rarely adopted and have such heart breaking statistics for their adult lives when they’re not adopted.

 

At this time the house is almost completely ready and we start our adoption classes this Thursday night.  Her room is completely ready and is so beautiful.  It’s neutral, but luxurious and has just a few feminine touches.  She can change it up however she wants, of course, but we wanted to have it ready to move in and show the Social Worker/Inspector that we are seriously committed to this commitment.  I’ll share some pics of our journey soon, I promise.  All sorts of things went wrong every which way we turned.  *laugh*  We learned a whole lot though, especially me!  We also learned the hard way that my balance issues are dramatically increased when I am off of the ground, and I’ve had some nasty injuries from working on the ladder.  It’s all been worth it though, no matter what happens.  In 10 weeks, if everything goes right, we will literally be licensed to be parents.  What a bizarre concept!  50 pages of paperwork, a scrapbook, 30 hours of parenting classes, lots of renovations, and a whole lot of tears, and we will finally get more information about our match(es).  That is, if the house passes inspection, so if you’re so inclined, please say a little prayer for us that our house passes inspection the first time, so we don’t have to wait even longer.

 

Since teen adoptions are so needed, in theory the adoption itself should go faster and easier than younger ones do, and we get a little more ability to pick who we feel is a better fit for our family, according to the mini bio we get.  We have one that we are really hoping for (I honestly can’t imagine any other girl but her when I daydream about our upcoming family adventures) and our social worker said that there’s a really good chance that as long as no one else has all ready selected her, we should get matched, which makes my breath catch and my heart thump each time I replay the conversation.  Of course, she has to review our stuff and decide she’d like to meet us, too, so I’ll try to dial back my crazy long enough.  *grin*

 

The agency required us to make a scrapbook about our lives, interests, and home, to help all prospective matches get to know us a bit and have a more informed decision if they would like to meet us.  I went into that part of the process totally lost and believing this would be torture.  Thankfully one of my dearest friends was a lifesaver with tons of information and answers for me, and it turns out that I am a total nut for scrapbooking.  *laugh* I absolutely had a blast making this timeline and visual biography of us, and it helped me feel so connected to this girl.  I actually love a child that I haven’t even met yet.  That’s mind blowing, but the honest truth.  I just hope our teenager will be interested and learn to love us too.

 

We decided to wait until we were starting our classes before announcing, although I wanted to as soon as we had decided, but thankfully Larry is more level-headed than me.  We will also mail out some physical copies of the announcement, but sadly the printing company cut the beginning of a few words on the left side.  At least people can extrapolate the message still and we get to finally share our joy with everyone.  We can’t share any information about our prospective daughter yet, since we don’t really know for sure who we will be matched with, but I really want to share about this difficult journey.  I had a lot of time on my hands during my recovery, so I was able to get far ahead of our class peers and do all of the paperwork and scrapbooking that is required, that they will do during the 10 weeks, but I was also able to do a lot of research.  Sadly there’s limited information about adopting and preparing for teenagers or older children, and I hope that maybe I can put a little bit of information out there and help someone else.  It’s easy to get discouraged with such a difficult process that really puts a strain on your relationship and your own mental health, in my opinion, so if I can offer a little education and reassurance, I can pay forward a bit of God’s blessing.

 

In closing of this big post I want to thank those of you that have helped us on our journey and have been such a big support system.  We thank you for helping us to keep this private until the time was right, for the encouragement, for your happiness, and for your embracing our journey with enthusiasm.  Our daughter will be so very blessed to have you as part of her family and we are so very thankful for that.  Truly, you have all been instrumental in getting us to this point and helping us get to the courthouse soon, hopefully, and we can never thank you enough.

 

“He gives the childless woman a family, making her a happy mother.  Praise the Lord!” – Psalms 113:9 (NLT Version)

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