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Peanut Butter Pie Recipe

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Before we get into the good stuff, I wanted to jump in and do a mini introduction.  This recipe is from one of the new guest bloggers I mentioned before, Leah.  She’s the Mary Poppins to my Morticia Addams and is so incredibly creative that her hands are seldom ever idle.  She has themed meals or days for the kids to enjoy, can DIY pretty much anything in my opinion, and has the most generous spirit.  And if you read the Motherhood Shower post, then you know she’s the incredible friend that took time out of her busy life to come and host my Shower.  Without any more of my babbling, I introduce you to her first blog post (and yes, it deserves a bigger picture than usual because it’s amazing)! — Georgia

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PB Pie

 

Pies are one of my favorite desserts.  I normally lean toward fruit pies with delicious flaky crusts but today it was all about chocolate and peanut butter.  This is one my 10 year old requests often.

 

Peanut Butter Pie

INGREDIENTS

1 (14.3 oz) package Oreos (about 36)

1 cup butter, divided

1 1/2 cups + 2 Tbsp creamy peanut butter, divided

1 cup powdered sugar

1 cup semisweet chocolate chips (I prefer Ghirardelli as it melts well and maintains a good consistency)

1/2 cup heavy whipping cream

 

PREPARATION

  1. Crush the Oreos until fine in a food processor or blender.  Stir crumbs together with 8 Tbsp melted butter until fully combined.  Press into the bottom and sides of your pie dish.  Freeze crust until set, about 10 minutes.
  2. Add the remaining 8 Tbsp of softened butter, 1 1/2 cups creamy peanut butter, and 1 cup powdered sugar to a large mixing bowl or the bowl of a stand mixer.  Beat on low speed until smooth and creamy. Pour the peanut butter mixture over the crust and smooth.  Place back in the freezer.
  3. In a large heat-proof bowl place the chocolate chips and remaining 2 Tbsp of peanut butter.  In a saucepan, bring heavy whipping cream to a fast simmer over medium-high heat.  Pour the cream over the chocolate chips and peanut butter and let sit for 5 minutes, then whisk until smooth.  Pour the chocolate layer over the peanut butter layer and refrigerate, covered, at least an hour or until ready to serve. 

 

And finally, thank whoever the brilliant person was that invented the deliciousness that is peanut butter!

 

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Fibro Insight

I had a required physical (ironic, but required to get my meds, even though I was just there two months ago for a regular visit). Anyway, the prodding and such caused a nice little flare, and as I sat reading emails one came in from a Fibro newsletter I get. They decided to do a post of Spoonies sharing pictures during symptom flares or how they cope with the visible symptoms. Yet somehow some people still don’t believe it’s a real condition and that there’s a community that really needs help. This is a group that have massively high suicidal ideation and risk rates. So I thought I’d share more information about it that might help others understand it a bit better or have a resource to share if they’re a Spoonie and trying to find examples to help people see behind the mask.

The Mighty post has a lot of examples of the visible symptoms that we tend to hide. They have tons of resources on their site and their newsletters are always comforting, in a way, because sufferers know that someone believes them and that it’s okay to not wear the “I’m okay” mask that we try to keep in place all of the time. Unfortunately I don’t have the umph to get on my computer, so the link will change the page directly to their site, instead of this post, so please remember to come back for the rest. 🙂

There is also an interesting study here that was done a few years ago in two countries, and then another country later, with a control population, chronic low back pain, and Fibro sufferers, that studied the rates of ideation and risk, with Fibro being sadly very high.

So, if you have a friend or loved one who suffers, hopefully these will help you understand what they’re going through and trying to hide from the world. I hope it not only raises awareness, but also more compassion. One of the most hurtful conversations that are surely meant to be helpful is that “my friend’s sister’s cousin had that and got better by…”. Sometimes, if you’re lucky, the illness and symptoms go into remission. Other times you relapse and that might become your new normal. That seemingly uplifting comment undermines their work of having a healthy mindset for coping and increases that ideation risk, because they feel so alone and misunderstood. If you feel like reading a bit more about awareness, I have a section dedicated to that on my Pinterest Fibromyalgia board (the side bar link takes you to my profile and I keep things pretty organized, so it’ll be easy to find a lot of pins to help others understand Spoonies better).

Thank you for helping me be strong enough to remove my “I’m okay” mask sometimes and helping me raise awareness. It is truly empowering and that’s one of my key habits to develop for this year. Y’all are awesome! 😀

Kiddo’s Room

I realized that I never shared any pics of the renovation from storage and cat box room into Kiddo’s room, so here goes! I’ve noticed that the formatting when I blog via my app is rather smashed together no matter how much of a gap I leave between paragraphs or pictures, so I apologize now, because the pics are on my phone and that means I’m blogging on the app again. Now that I know about the issue I promise to try to utilize the other version as often as possible. On to the good stuff now!

This is when you first step into the doorway. It’s kind of an odd shaped room, due to the back to back closets between her room and ours. This first bookcase will be shared (since I lost my space when I organized all of the tools and such into my office so it would all be in one place). Since the picture was taken I filled the bookcase with cookbooks, my favorite educational books, and the small group of physical fictional books that I just couldn’t give up. The bookcase against her back wall will probably get moved out soon, so that we can actually put my old office desk there (modified to fit, but it’ll still be heavy duty desk). I’ve been looking up design plans for shelving above the desk and her tv will go on the desk, too.

This is taken from the back wall bookcase facing the entry where the other pic was taken from. We decided to swap the closet door for curtains that she can tie back. It gives more accessibility when going between the closet and the room, since the door would pretty much close off the back half of the room. *laugh* What you can’t see is the long cherry wood dresser on the short wall beside the closet with a mirror running the full length. There is also a quilt rack from my mom at the end of Kiddo’s brand new bed on the frame that’s been passed down to Larry. The bed sits so hi I need a small stool to get enough boost to not look like a little kid trying to climb up. *grin*

Look how tall that sits!! *laugh* That bed and bedding is more luxurious than any hotel I’ve ever been in, let alone owned! We want her to feel and see the care we put into her room. It’s the nicest room in our house. *grin* Come Spring we will sand and stain all of the wood to match the cherry, so it’ll be even more incredible then. And after painting the room three times (nope, don’t want to talk about it, just know that we learned a whole lot about what not to buy and use for painting!), Kiddo is welcome to swap out the cream walls and pink cocoa trim, and make it all her own. I’ll be happy to keep her company or give tips, but I am not painting that room myself ever again!!

Abby is absolutely obsessed with “Sister’s” room and races to the door anytime a person gets near it. *laugh* She loves to attack the little tucks in the comforter, watch me hang decorations like the print out I framed, and watches out the lace curtains sometimes, unless nap time hits and then she is snoring up near the pillows.

On her dresser is a makeup organizer, storage containers, the most meaningful quote that I framed, and then two projects I did for her. I spent a long time making her the year long jar. Each topic is color coded, so she can easily grab the right one to read for whatever she’s feeling. I even used different scissor borders for each type. (Yeah, I went a bit overboard, but when don’t I when it comes to Kiddo, really? *grin*) I also made the small Anti-Depressant Kit, which I found on Pinterest and thought it would be perfect. One with those sentiments would have really helped while I was mired in working through my traumas, so I’m hoping Kiddo will find some peace from it, and know that she is loved. There is also a basket on the dresser with gift cards we received to help get whatever she needs and help her learn to budget her money, if that was never taught. I also put a collage of the Shower in the mirror edge.

The basket on the bed is now divided up between a lot of gift bags and almost everything is hidden in her closet now. Our social worker pointed out that it might be overwhelming to come for the first overnight visitation and have so many things to go through. I read that sometimes they’ll also expect to be showered in gifts if visitation starts that way, and I also read some grown adoptees had a hard time as kids when they came into the home and were all ready overwhelmed by the new surroundings, being around the new parents in the new home, and then they felt that they had to put on this performance of excitement despite needing a little time to process everything else. And they were afraid to voice that because they might get sent back. Reading their journeys and tips has been so helpful, but I’ve shed many a tear for how much fear and sadness even the happiest adopted child hides. Anyway, that helped curb some of my shopping for her until we actually get to know her, plus it means I get to throw a Placement Party for her (how big it is will totally be up to Kiddo, since she might prefer just her new “family” for a bit). No matter the size of the party, she will pretty much have a Christmas sized haul that day. *laugh* If ever there is doubt before that day, this should show her how much we care – it’s hard to believe, but I got several cheesy, lovey items that are so uncharacteristic of me. *grin*

We still don’t know when we will get to read the other half of her profile, let alone when we will meet her, but at least everyone in this process knows that we are ready to make our family complete. Her room is waiting for her and so are we. Sometimes I sit on the stool in Kiddo’s room and it helps me remember why we have continued this difficult journey. It may be hard to be on God’s timeline instead of my desired immediate timeline, but it’s all been worth it. Every person deserves a home and a family, no matter how old they are.

When I’m Cranky

With all of the changes to my medication, new symptoms, and other not-so-fun details, I’ve been cranky off and on a lot lately. I’m on a new mood stabilizer and we’re titrating up to full dose, so I’m cranky when the three drugs lose their potency. Since I realized what an old fart I become, I’ve tried to either become more introverted than usual or try to find things that cheer me up. (Note: preview won’t let me check that the links work. If they don’t, please let me know and I’ll fix it as soon as I’m up.)

One such resource is the awesome Deva parodies, from MyLifeSuckers. I think we were watching some old Rhett and Link song parodies and YouTube recommended one of her parodies, and we’ve been hooked ever since. Her parody of “Look What You Made Me Do” is one of our favorites. “Bad Blood” and “Hello” follow closely behind, but honestly, we love it all. We were both subscribed after the second video and then spent a week sneaking in old videos every spare minute. *laugh* It’s impossible to stay grumpy after a few videos or even reading her blog. I hope I’m even a hundredth of what a fun and creative mom that she is, and hope to learn to not worry about others making fun of me. She is someone I really look up to.

We also watch Facts. on YouTube, but they’re not as family friendly. It’s the Irish version of BuzzFeed in some ways. Irish people have to taste test foods and drinks, try to do things while drunk, and comment on American shows that they’d never seen until the filming. It’s been fascinating to see how different taste preferences vary between countries and a lot of the people are actually comedians, so they can be real hams. My favorite episode is when they attempt to make slime for the first time. Next would be “Surgeons Playing Surgeon Simulator“. I’m pretty sure I snorted I laughed so hard the first time. *grin*

Their show often has John Sharpson on it and he has a family friend YouTube show called Sharuf, and it is such a cheerful show. Rufus Bluestuff, the monster muppet, is actually part of the inspiration for creating an actual Monster themed product line, and my hope this year is to make enough products to send a fun care package to them with lots of themed goodies. It helps that I’m obsessed with Ireland and I get all nerded out thinking about mailing a package to someone in Ireland. *laugh* I know – the weirdest things make me happy.

So, hopefully if you’re having a bout of the grumps too, you’ll check them out and find one or two that help lift your spirits. We need to pamper our hearts and minds just as much as our bodies, so I can always justify jumping down the YouTube rabbit hole. 🙂

Empowerment

While the medicine is keeping my symptoms at bay, I’ve decided to write about my latest step toward empowerment. Settle in for a long one. I tried to shorten it as much as I could. 🙂

I saw my disability psychiatrist last week; we’ll call her “H” for being such a huge help my learning to cope with becoming disabled so young, just as my career was truly starting. During some of the sessions we’ve discussed how sometimes the symptoms from Fibro can trigger my PTSD from the abuse I suffered years ago. That’s when I realized that a lot of the things I did over the years was to empower myself, so that he couldn’t have control ever again, and why I’m such a control freak.

Although we don’t discuss my ex that often, I had to go over the main parts of the abuse, over and over again, as part of the adoption process. They want every little detail of your life, which I don’t begrudge them for, since they’re trying to find good homes for these children and to keep them safe. Plus, sometimes an adopting parent that has been abused is like a ticking time bomb for their PTSD to kick in while helping a child cope with their own trauma. Thankfully I’ve learned a lot and will be able to handle it, since I’ve been dealing with PTSD from several life events. I’ve worked hard to understand abuse, so I got my certification in Victim’s Advocacy, and then I worked to never be weak enough to be a victim again, mentally or physically.

At the previous appointment H and I discussed how I can’t allow my illness and disability to define me, and she blew my mind when she pointed out that I’ve been angry for so long. Anger at losing the life I was on track for before my relapse, anger at having physical weaknesses again, and anger that I had to lose my career that would have helped improve our financial situation, so I wouldn’t feel so guilty for L having such a burden on his shoulders. Although I felt it, I never was able to realize that it was anger at my disability that made me frustrated so often. And that I had never truly mourned the losses in order to move on. Losing that life and all of the dreams that went with it; they’ll never be my path and I will have different abilities, choices, and paths that I will take. With the mourning I also need to deal with the associated triggers and work on my PTSD before I can help Kiddo.

So I worked for months to let go and mourn each piece. I still have trouble sometimes with dealing with my inability to visit friends when I want to, or the independence of driving anywhere if I wanted to, not being able to access all of my knowledge at times, and most especially my physical weakness. Mourning my previous life and trying to embrace my new path became very empowering, and when we decided to adopt I decided that I wanted to be a good female role model for her – I want to show her that no matter what she went through, we can take back the control and stop being a survivor or victim. I hope my being empowered will help her to tap into her potential and find her happiness. I don’t want her past traumas to define her life, either, so if I can work through mine, I can help her through hers…I hope and pray.

During last week’s conversation H also asked how I will handle my PTSD being possibly triggered by Kiddo’s traumas, especially if I will have to help her work through the same traumas I suffered. Thankfully I have a great support system of loved ones that can step in, if needed, but I also truly believe a quote I was sent that basically said that I had survived because God had plans ahead where I would use that knowledge and compassion. However, I admit that there are a lot of unexpected triggers and I am slowly working through them. The waiting period triggered a lot of my fears and my greatest fear now is that my ex could come after Kiddo.

I know it will shatter me if he decided to punish me by hurting what I value; it’s the specialty of an abuser, and after seeing me mourn the loss of Sierra, our daughter, he will know that I’d rather die than lose Kiddo. With his twisted justifications, what if my traumatized Kiddo ever gets attacked or raped by him because of me? Until H and J talked about it I didn’t realize how much that fear had taken hold of me. It took a long time for him to stop stalking me; even L didn’t realize that we were stalked during outings in our first couple of years. I don’t know if any other girl ever managed to get away from him, if any other girl ever stood up to him like I did once I had given up…I don’t know if a switch can suddenly flip and make him decide to revisit that hatred and find me again. And now my info is out there after I hid it for so many years; social media has made it difficult to stay in the shadows.

“Know thine enemy”, so I know he moved back into the state and where he currently lives. He isn’t even an hour away. It would be easy to take up the stalking again, especially when I never understood what triggered him to become fixated the first or second time.

Without fully acknowledging where my risk analysis and PTSD trigger had taken me, I became terrified of being the cause for more trauma to Kiddo. When I finally realized it is when H leaned toward me and said I needed to stop giving him that power, if I want to teach Kiddo to learn from her trauma and to grow. I can’t actually teach that to her when I’m giving someone else the power to make me afraid again. And, when it comes down to it, my fear won’t protect Kiddo. I have to focus on letting go of fear and feel strong again, so I can be living proof for Kiddo that the trauma can teach us how to become even stronger. If we can both take away the power of victimizing us from everyone in our pasts, I’ll truly be able to help empower my daughter to mourn her losses and not let life’s challenges define her.

With that frighteningly vulnerable post I am going to turn on Fun’s “Carry On” and snuggle in my favorite blanket. Time to pamper myself a bit. 🙂


If you need help working through your abuse, please call The National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (if you live in USA). The Hotline and 911 can and will help you if you are currently being abused. It seems impossible now, but it gets better, I promise, and if you need help working through it, a nerdy stranger on the internet will be there for you if you reach out.

Random Amusement

I’m really sick today (Fibro is NOT proud of me for getting out 3 times in one week!), so instead of responding to readers as I had planned, or writing that empowerment post, I’m going to post some pins that really amuse me. I think we all could use a few smiles, even if you save this until your sick day.

The following I would LOVE to do for our adoption announcement, when that dream ever becomes a reality, but I don’t have the nerve to be a Smart aleck like this…

And the next ones I can SO imagine L doing for Kiddo…

The last is one I have always thought was an odd saying and I laugh every single time I read this one. This is how my mind works, folks. And I finally found someone else posting the same kinds of thoughts. LOL

Healthy and happy wishes to everyone! 🙂

Ballet!

Today my mom and I went to the Moscow Festival Ballet of Cinderella. It was so beautiful and although second row seats are usually great, they’re not so awesome for ballets because it turns out the stage is too high for you to see the footwork, but the rest of their bodies and movements were incredible. Well, you know what I mean. Lol I had gambled last year and bought a ticket for Kiddo also, thinking there was no way that we’d still be in the second stage of this process instead of having visitation, so that she could share in this. The empty chair made it a little bittersweet, but I totally recommend seeing this ballet if they come anywhere near you (we were about an hour away from the venue).

Here’s their blurb:

“Moscow Festival Ballet: Cinderella

The world-famous Moscow Festival Ballet presents Cinderella. Often considered the finest achievement of the classical ballet, this piece offers a grandiose and refined blending of traditional mime, expressive pas d’action and spectacular divertissements in a lavish theatrical setting.

The Moscow Festival Ballet was founded in 1989 by Sergei Radchenko, legendary principal dancer of the Bolshoi Ballet. Radchenko brought together the elements of the great Bolshoi and Kirov Ballet companies in an independent company. Since its inception, the group has toured internationally to great acclaim.”

Watch their video here! (Toward the bottom of the page.)

It was a beautiful experience and I’m so glad that I got to share it with my mom, since she is just learning to love ballet, which added an extra level of awesomeness to the afternoon! I hope that at least one of the next two performances that we have bought a teen ticket for will actually get to have Kiddo there to share the experience during one of our visitations. *crossing fingers*

If there’s one take away from this, please get seats at least 5 rows back if you’re going to see a ballet. You might be amazed at how early you hit the ticket sales and managed to snag center, close seats, but try to learn from my mistake. 🙂

Purely Random

I have a great post about Empowerment that I want to write and share, but I was prescribed a new medication and I’m a bit groggy. Tomorrow my mom and I are going to see a Russian Troupe’s performance of Cinderella over in Lawrence, so I’ll try to do today’s post tomorrow, pick which pics turned out well at the event, and then share about the ballet on Monday. So exciting!! The only downside is that we hoped to all ready be in the visitation stage, so months ago when I bough the tickets I also got one for her. Hopefully they are able to come back next year, so that I can share this with her as planned. We don’t get too many of the cultural events here that I remember from my childhood in CA, like professional ballets and professional Irish Step Dancers, which is the gamble for next month. You’ll probably hear my rant across the whole nation if that ticket also goes unused. Lol

Anyway, I’m sure that tonight’s post doesn’t have much substance and that I’m really spaced out. I’m sure my body will be adjusted in another day or two. In the meantime, I hope you are having a wonderful weekend and get to enjoy a little pampering!

Plum Hair Chalk

Today was an intense day that I’ll share after mulling over some of it and sleeping off my first dose of a new medication. So, this will be brief and actually only contain one subject. How about that?! I can actually focus on one thing. Lol I have no logo for it, but this post will be about hair chalk. 🙂

I am actually blessed to have an incredible disability psychiatrist that really understands how my mind works, gives me great resources, and has helped me to empower myself (which will most likely be discussed a lot in my next post). Anyway, even if I’m not doing well physically, just knowing that I’m going to see her puts me in a great mood and I tend to have extra energy, from the mental boost, to put a little more effort into getting ready. So today I decided to try out the Sugar Plum Vibrant hair chalk, especially since I played with adding some curl to the new haircut. Only one spot truly showed the plum and that’s where I usually have a small white streak I developed after the abuse, which my dye turns into a soft brown highlight. Apparently chalk adheres to that better as well. *laugh* Overall, either it couldn’t be seen at all or it just gave a soft red undertone to the dark brown overall color. It is still fun and easy to work with, but I definitely recommend that you either have the ability to keep your arms up and apply quite a bit to make it vibrant, or else use it on lighter hair. Since the gold went so well and actually looked great with my complexion, I’m looking at adding some gold/light brown streaks in permanent. The pics totally didn’t turn out well (my hair got all sorts of wild with the high winds and I didn’t have time to take pics before we left unfortunately lol), and like I said, there’s one tiny spot on what will be the right side of the pics, that is clearly visible. At least it gives you an idea if it might work for you though.

I applied it almost equally to how I did the gold, to keep the experiment as accurate as possible. I have to admit that I like the light tone it gave to the hair at my crown, although I would have loved for a red or plum tone instead, but it’s a good, warm tone.

So there you have it! If you have darker hair, gold is the clear winner in my book when using Splat dry hair chalk. Now time to sleep my afternoon away. *grin* Happy Pampering!

Blog Post Theme Logos

A warm welcome to all of the new followers of my crazy blog! I’ve had some time on my hands and noticed that some of you started following my blog after specific types of posts. Since my creativity can be a bit…um…diverse, yeah, that’s a good word for it, from day to day, I decided to create a little logo pic at the top of each post. It’s a lot easier and quicker to see than the category, and it lets you see at a glance if it’s the information you’re interested in. I’m hoping you’ll check out the others, but know that reading time can be short and valuable, so if you’re specifically interested in a topic, hopefully these will help you!

Expect a few changes to them along the way, most likely, because I’m me and can’t leave things alone. *laugh* Plus, if I find a glitter version of something, I’ll jump on that new icon or background immediately. 🙂

I will have a specific logo with a category name at the top. If it works for the guest bloggers, we’ll also use the font and icon from the general category for their own contribution logo, as well, at the end. That’s a concept we’re still playing with. I can promise there will be “This recipe post contributed by…” with a little icon will be at the end of each guest post. I want them to get the credit due to them and it allows for some extra creativity in the post format.

If any followers find these changes annoying, difficult with your browser, or you even have input on what might be a better version, please don’t hesitate to leave your input. It’s just an idea I’m trying out to hopefully help streamline and improve the experience for some of the readers. 🙂

Although I have some that are still far from being decided (I have 10 versions of one, that I narrowed down from probably 25, so it’ll take me just a bit longer and help from others to pick a few of these themes, but I wanted to share a few with you. Some will be a clear background that just blends into the website theme, depending on your viewer/device platform, while some will have white or colored backgrounds, so those will look like a regular ole picture at the top with the category theme. Please let me know in comments if you have a preference, if you have time.

Without further delay, a few teasers (meaning there’s a good chance they’ll change within the next 36 hours lol)…

I’m still really torn on what type of icon I’d like for that theme.

I couldn’t resist using my two favorite monster-themed products for the icons for when I discuss the Monster Line!

These are an 85% probability of getting used. I obviously will work on getting them all a bit more uniform in size, but I’m just trying to get the basics down for now.

I’m really torn or using a real product pic (although it’ll probably be one like the glitter bars or something that is staged and photographed a bit better *laugh*); I like the simplicity of a simple logo too, though, since I make such a wide variety (although I hope to do a category icon for each type of product or line that’s listed for sale, as well, once I finally renovating my site. Like I said, so many thoughts and so easily distracted by other possibilities…

These two are my current contenders, although I’m also considering one with my scrubs or lotion. I love the Celtic look to the first one and the Ooh la la impact of the second one.

This app has so many options I literally go down the rabbit hole for hours, saving different fonts, colors, icons, wording, and backgrounds. Anyway, that’s just a little peek at what I’m playing with while I’m down for the count for a bit due to some injuries from a fall yesterday morning (not serious, but just need a little time for the pain to die down and the muscles to have a little more use again). I hope you have a wonderful day and that your 2018 habits are slowly and surely coming along! 🙂